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11.5 months - mom needs reassurance!

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  • 11.5 months - mom needs reassurance!

    my 11.5 month baby girl who still nurses on demand has been very slow to accept solids. she doesn't like to eat in her high chair. she will take small amounts of solids while she is playing or reading but not consistently. she prefers to nurse. she knows how to eat, doesn't choke/gag/spit up/vomit and even can drink from a cup and use a straw. even as a young infant, most days she would refuse the bottle while i was at work (3 days/wk). i've stopped working so she has been nursing on demand since the end of May. she nurses multiple times during the night. recently, i think it is mostly to fall back asleep because the duration is short. sometimes, though, i believe it is because she is hungry (duration is longer). i nurse her to sleep for naps and at bedtime. needless to say, all these things are done in a loving and positive way.
    am i doing the right things?
    why is she slow to accept solids consistently, even thought she knows how to eat them?
    i initially had envisioned beginning weaning after 1 year but she is obviously nowhere close to being ready so i'm not going to. i'm saddened because she probably won't eat cake on her 1st birthday. i'm scared i'm doing the wrong thing by nursing her to sleep for naps and bedtime and multiple times in the middle of the night.
    her pediatrician keeps telling me i need to do a modified ferber method but i'm not comfortable doing that. is there a list of AP friendly pediatricians by state?
    i just want someone to talk to who is or has been in my shoes! i need reassurance that my baby WILL eat, she will wean when she is ready, and she will be able to fall asleep on her own and stay asleep if i keep doing what i'm doing.
    thanks for any support

  • #2
    Originally posted by EandMe View Post
    am i doing the right things?
    Is sounds like you are being attentive and responsive to your daughters needs. I would say you are doing the right things! I believe "right" is as individual as Mother and Child.

    why is she slow to accept solids consistently, even thought she knows how to eat them? i initially had envisioned beginning weaning after 1 year but she is obviously nowhere close to being ready so i'm not going to. i'm saddened because she probably won't eat cake on her 1st birthday
    My 4 year old daughter was the same way. I had planned to try to let her ween naturally but after the birth of my second daughter, it became too much and I completely weened her at 3 and a half. I think eating habits are unique to each child and seems to be a trait from birth. At 11 months, my 4 year old would eat solids in passing where my 11 month old baby girl eats everything I put in front of her and can't get enough! I haven't done anything differently with my 11 month old. My 4 year old is also a very picky eater, so don't be surprised if you have that in your future as well. However, I hope this isn't your case! My 4 year old did eat some of the frosting of her first birthday cake shortly after she mashed it to death. I'm sure your daughter will still have a blast!

    i'm scared i'm doing the wrong thing by nursing her to sleep for naps and bedtime and multiple times in the middle of the night.
    It sounds like you're really worried about doing things wrong. Have you gotten in touch with this fear? Rest assured that as long as you feel in tune to your daughter's needs then you are on the right track. There is no rule book for that except for what is in your heart. My 4 year old also nursed every 2 hours throughout the night for the first 2 and half years. Once I became pregnant and the pain was too much, we mostly night weened. I'd nurse her to sleep and when she'd wake up to nurse, I'd let her know that she needed to wait until the sun came up. She'd get upset (some crying) but we'd cuddle and I would rub her back. After a few nights of this she quit waking up until right at the crack of dawn which I would then allow her to nurse.

    her pediatrician keeps telling me i need to do a modified ferber method but i'm not comfortable doing that. is there a list of AP friendly pediatricians by state?
    I am not familiar with a list like this, but perhaps you can connect with a support group in your area and ask other Mothers which pediatrician they use?

    i just want someone to talk to who is or has been in my shoes! i need reassurance that my baby WILL eat, she will wean when she is ready, and she will be able to fall asleep on her own and stay asleep if i keep doing what i'm doing.
    thanks for any support
    I have certainly been in your shoes with my 4 year old. She's never starved herself and she's gradually expanded her list of foods. When she was younger, I offered food I knew she would eat along with something new. Now that she's older, we can talk about healthy foods and she'll willingly try just one bite. This has led her to discover even more foods that she likes. I think my daughter would have eventually self weened, but it would've probably been closer to age 5 since I believe she would still be nursing if I let her. My plan has always been to nurse her as long as it worked for both of us. I didn't think I would be the first to bow out. She handled it very well, however, and has found other ways to find comfort from me. At 4 years old, she sleeps through the night after a story and a cuddle and can stay alone until morning. This change gradually came with age.

    Keep doing what you're doing Mom!
    Last edited by ndavidson; 09-21-2012, 04:43 AM.

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    • #3
      thanks for the detailed response. it was reassuring. it's just difficult when my family and friends have babies who seem to do everything the way "it's supposed to happen." since the original post, i've been trying to let relax about it all and take it day by day.

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      • #4
        I think a lot of AP Moms feel that way. I certainly did, so I found my support in books and then the API community. It's reassuring to know that there are other people out there that let their children lead the way they parent. My 4 year old daughter gets many compliments about what a sweet well-behaved girl she is. These comments come from the same people who tried to convince me I was going to spoil her by never letting her cry, wearing her constantly, sleeping with her, and letting her lead her eating habits. Hang in there.
        Last edited by ndavidson; 09-22-2012, 12:28 AM.

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