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Tired of comments about carrier!

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  • Tired of comments about carrier!

    So two times in one day in different places I got
    "oh he's hanging on for dear life" about my son in my Ergo backpack!
    I feel like they are implying he is .
    1. Unsafe
    2. Uncomfortable
    3. Unhappy
    4. Or that I am unaware of his feelings

    I have said "oh he likes it and he's totally safe"--they didn't say anything back just cooed at the baby.
    I am overreacting?

  • #2
    I don't think you are overreacting. I, too, often get the "is he comfortable in that" (said has he is completely dead asleep against my breasts!)

    I think it is more the "unknown" to them. So many traditional carriers are very 'untraditional' in American culture and they didn't use carriers with their children so whatever contraption we are using MUST be odd.

    All they see is either a sleeping baby or a baby who is very content and probably holding on to parts of the carrier because it is part of mommy. My son likes to "bite/mouth" my MT when I wear him and folks often tell me it he must be uncomfortable w/ it in his mouth or bending his ear.

    (I guess they aren't paying attention to the cooing, smiles or contented sleeping baby...)


    • #3
      I hate it also. I think people are not trying to offend you by saying it. I think they just don't see babies out of stroller frequently and they don't know any other way to break the ice into talking to you or your baby. Regardless, it's still rude and it's still annoying. I think (hope) that as babywearing is growing in popularity, maybe it will become the "norm" and people won't have such stupid comments.


      • #4
        I think it's just people trying to think of something to say. I always get the comment "Are you sure you're not squishing her?" when my daughter is snuggled in my hotsling, happily sound asleep. I usually answer politely...usually.


        • #5
          i used to get comments like that all the time when it seemed like i was the only mommy using a cloth baby sling. i try not to take offense and remind myself that the ones making them are simply ignorant. i just ignore them.


          • #6
            I guess this thread is a bit older, but i'll reply anyway. I really feel for all of you over there in America. It is SOOO different here. It is pretty much ASSUMED you'll use some kind of baby carrier here. I think most moms here (like me!) own a few different wraps/slings/carriers! They also use buggy's- most moms don't use the carriers enough in my opinion, and i think most use them only when baby is small, but still its nice that its the "norm". All of the comments i get are "oh wow- she looks so COMFY there- wish i could travel around like that!"
            And i REALLY feel for you guys when it comes to breastfeeding! I visited my family in Canada when DD was 3months, and over here in Norway EVERYONE (who can) breastfeeds. Its totally the norm, and everyone just breastfeeds wherever the need may arise. So i was shocked by the looks i got when i breastfed on a bench off to the side at the mall in Canada- and was sooo sad to see the moms who were feeding with those damn "cover" things that are sold there- like its something to be ashamed of. Those things prevent eye-contact etc! no good!
            So i guess my conclusion is that all of you just need to move over here to Norway! haha


            • #7
              Originally posted by lotushjerte View Post
              So i guess my conclusion is that all of you just need to move over here to Norway! haha
              thanks for the invite! we'll be there tomorrow! can we stay w/you?

              i know sweden has laws, but does norway also have laws against spanking?


              • #8
                I also get a lot of comments. I use a mei tai and still carry my 21 month old in the front carry position most of the time. I just tell people the truth. Its much easier than using a stroller and is one of the better ways to carry a toddler that doesn't want to hold hands in a busy area.


                • #9
                  I'm often snarky, I tend to reply to stuff about "falling out" or "holding on" with: "Well, we ARE primates. That's why we have opposable thumbs and a palmar grip."


                  • #10
                    Thats hilarious (and true) krasota.. I'll have to remember that!


                    • #11
                      i get this allll time.. I carry my 7 month old in my HotSling and I always have compliments that just bring the whole situation down. as if they are trying to hurt my feelings or something.
                      when we go shopping at the mall or the farmers market or whereever I put Nevaeh in the sling this way I am hands free to get things done and to hold my older daughters hands. well I have had older ladies come to me and look at my baby and say to her are you even comfy in there. and then she noticed i wasnt even holding on to her when i was walking. she looked all worried and pretty much hovered over me. she asked me if it would be safer if i just carried her in my arms instead or just put her into the stroller.
                      yeah well this time i stood my grounds.
                      I said "look lady, if my baby was uncomfy she would be freaking out. I dont need to hold on to her cause that is the whole point of these new carriers is that the mother is hands free... seriously if you dont like the idea that i have my baby in this then dont look over her or just go away.
                      URG. i had to cause i was getting mad.
                      I get awesome looks from chinese people though and because they wear their babys. and its usually the older couples that oo and ahh over them. now the possitive compliments are nice. but when they over react about it i cant stand it.


                      • #12
                        Deleted message.
                        Last edited by tkfour; 06-16-2010, 04:36 PM.


                        • #13
                          I usually get negative feedback from my MIL. One time she tried to take DS out of our sling while I was wearing him because she thought he too hot. Now that made me mad! I've only had positive comments from strangers.



                          • #14
                            I get comments all the time when I'm wearing Peeper (9 months) in the wrap, but they are almost always positive.

                            Occasionally people will ask if it's comfy for me, and I will tell them it's very comfy. (I recently carried her in arms for a good while and realized just how much more comfy it is to wear her!)

                            When she was little and all cuddled up inside, or if she's on my front facing in, they will comment about how snuggly and comfy she looks, and when she's facing out, the comments tend to be about how she's got "the best seat in the house" and " a great view" and things like that.

                            (That is another thing I love about wearing her. In addition to being cozy with me, she gets to see everything I see.)

                            Or just general comments about her chubby cheeks and thighs, which are about all that's sticking out ;-)

                            I've had several people ask where to get one, too. I bought the wrap from my doula / LLL leader (she sells carriers, cloth dipes, etc online) and I actually carry a stack of her biz cards to hand out when people ask about it!

                            (She's been such a HUGE help to us, especially getting started w/breastfeeding, so I figure a little free advertising is the least I can do to repay her.)

                            Oh - and yesterday, at PrideFest, someone said, "Hey - Another baby wearer!" (she had an 8 m/o in a ringsling) and we started talking and ended up trading email addresses, hoping to get together sometime!


                            • #15
                              For the most part, I get positive comments. I have received a few rude ones. I tend to get lots of stares and concerned looks as I'm wrapping my son on my back in parking lots and stores. I can see that they fear I'm going to drop my baby.

                              Little by little, I just hope that babywearing becomes more mainstream.