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  • Baby-Wearing

    I don't know if this is the right place to post this but I'm having some problems trying to find the right method of baby-wearing. My baby is 3.5 weeks old and I've given up on this stinkin' wrap I have. I watched the video and did exactly what I was supposed to do but the little guy does NOT like it. I tried on a friend's ring sling and he didn't like that either. I have a Snugli that he seems to like but it's torture on my back and I'm limited because I can't bend over without him slipping out of it. I'm frazzled trying to accomplish my housework and take care of my family either one-handed or waiting until he's asleep. Even when he's sleeping, though, I have aweful guilt over leaving him there all by himself. I ache to hold him all the time. The only time I feel ok doing what I need to do is when daddy is home to hold him. This is not always practical and I'm going nuts trying to juggle everything around his erratic sleeping episodes. If anyone has experience with this and can give some insight as to what might work best, please help. I'm desperate.

  • #2
    Is this your first time babywearing? I had a big learning curve with the ring sling. It took me several weeks before I started to get the hang of wearing it.

    I would suggest reintroducing the wrap and/or sling several times over a few weeks/months. It may just take some time for him to get big enough to be comfortable.

    Have you tried different positions? Some babies like being upright more than laying down, so that might be the cause of his discomfort. Here are a bunch of videos with different positions.

    You may want to try the ergo with the infant insert. Maybe try to borrow one from a friend or test one in a store? But they do hold their resale value if it doesn't work out for your little dude.

    I will add that some babies just plain don't like to be worn.

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    • #3
      I LOVE the mei tai for the newborn period (well all the stages really!). You can put them in froggie style till they are old enough to sit in it. I have heavy babes and a bad back and it still works for me and I have a 30 pound 1 year old. With a mei tia the sweet babe can ride in front facing you as a youngster (now till 6 mths or so), side or hip carry till you flip 'em around to the backside and they love riding along with mom or dad on back. I have a 3 year old that still likes to be carrried in his baby carrier.

      I also got a Beco baby carrier (like mei tai but with buckles instead of tying the babe on) and that works pretty good too. I rotate back and forth between those 2 and my wrap. The wrap can have a pretty big learning curve, but is the MOST supportive I have found and I can wear it for hours when we go for hikes.

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      • #4
        I also had difficulties with the ring sling when my oldest daughter was an infant. After trying several types, I now own 7, I have found the Moby Wrap to be the best for the youngest ones. Wraps spread the weight of the baby across the entire back while holding the baby securely against your chest. They can be a little tricky to get on the first time, but get progressively easier. Do you have any baby wearing friends nearby to try out different styles?

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        • #5
          "Even when he's sleeping, though, I have aweful guilt over leaving him there all by himself. I ache to hold him all the time. The only time I feel ok doing what I need to do is when daddy is home to hold him. This is not always practical and I'm going nuts trying to juggle everything around his erratic sleeping episodes."

          Oh, I remember aching arms to hold that babe, even for just a few minutes to shower, you feel incomplete without them! But your right, you need to find something that works. It was tough until someone actually walked me through ste-by-step and showed my how to do it. After that I always questioned how I made it through my day without it. I am one of those moms that whatever baby carrier I have it needs to match my outfit because I never take it off! Do you have a local babywearing group? How about your local API group or your local LLL group? You can always find a babywearing mama or two at those meetings.

          Good luck!

          Have you visted the site: http://www.mamatoto.org/? It has videos, step-by-step instructions and is sorted by age, by carrier, by position. This was really helpful with my wrap for my 3rd child.

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          • #6
            Hang in there. I bought a wrap when my boy was ~1month old... the learning curve was pretty steep... and you need the coorperation of the baby too... my boy was more patient with me when he was older... anyways... i admit that it is not easy to learn... but once you get a hang of it... it's worth your time invested.

            My suggestion... learn to tie one position (carry) at a time... keep doing the same carry over and over again until u master it before u learn the next one. My son is ~5months old now, and only now I'm starting to learn how to carry him on the back... he's been riding me in the front on frog style all these time. So you need to be patient, your part is easy... will power will do... but the baby... u need to "negotiate" that on a daily basis.

            Good luck! Trust me... it's all worth your effort!

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            • #7
              Ergo Baby Carrier

              Hi. I have an Ergo and it has only been in the last month that Zim has started to really enjoy, dare I say even tolerate it. I had the infant insert and could get it to work occasionally but found, like almost everything, every day was different. Some days he hated it. He loves his space and does not like to be contained. He is a little bed hog and will sleep spread eagle once deep enough. Our little unfolding flower!

              Most of my friends used a HugABub until 6 months and then moved to the Ergo and all their babies seemed to take to slings like a fish to water. I found the infant insert in the Ergo to be difficult; however, I was a very nervous momma (hopefully that is taming a bit) and worried about his hips, his spine and his neck. I found that will other mommas around I could manage to get him in and we enjoyed the experience, but alone, I worried myself out of using it. Now that I am more confident and have slowly reintroduced him to it. We love it. It feels comfortable and saves my back. I am small and Zim is a big baby and with the Ergo I can get around easily, have my hands free and little love next to my heart. I also like that I can have him on the front, back or side.

              PS. I found mamatoto to be an excellent site, as well. In the beginning it was my confidence that was the biggest obstacle for babywearing.

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              • #8
                I started wearing DS when he started to get to heavy to hold, and I remember him not liking it at first, also it felt to tight, then to loose, etc..I tried many times before it felt comfy, and DS was happy. Don't give up.
                I didn't like the ring slings in the beginning, it kept on slipping off, but i'll try again now that DS is bigger.

                Oh, yeah, and don't worry about the things not getting done, you should see my house! but DS is happy and so am I!

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                • #9
                  A couple of suggestions:

                  Some babies like one position over another (some want to face out from very early on, another may only like to be horizontal) so try different positions to see if one will work better than another. I usually ask people how baby likes to be held because that's usually the position that they'll tolerate in the sling. Also, babes will often 'feel' your anxiety, so you may want to practice with a doll/stuffed animal/cat to get used to putting babe in it so that you don't "scare" him out of it! Also, practice in front of a mirror and over a soft surface if you can, so that you can see and not have to worry so much. Once you get baby secure, try the bouncy walk with the "sh,sh,sh,sh"--most babies will go to sleep!

                  One other important suggestion would be to have your little one checked by a chiropractor that sees kids. Birth can be traumatic on their necks/backs/pelvis' so sometimes the pressure from positioning them in a sling will aggravate their discomfort. How else can they tell you but by crying? My hubby and sister are chiros. and my kids had gentle adjustments right after birth. It can also prevent issues of colic, breastfeeding troubles, sleeping issues, etc.

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                  • #10
                    I see lots of great suggestions particularly the fact that different babies like different carriers/carrying positions. The wraps have a steep learning curve but so many mommy's love them for there comfort and versitility. If you can find a LLL, API or babywearing group in your area you are bound to find local help.

                    For what didn't work, I tried an adjustable pouch with lots of pain for me, a baby bjorn with lots of pain for me, a Maya Wrap ring sling I just couldn't figure out how to wear comfortably (although my hubby liked it for awhile). For what did work: I loved my mei tais, particlularly my Kozy, and I love my Ergo (when I first started using it at 4 mo I would just fold my sons legs in and he still uses it frequently at 2 yo).

                    Things I'd try if there is a next time: I hear lots of great things about the new butterfly beco that is great for newborn up. Reported to be very comfy for mom and baby. I would also get a woven wrap. The mom's that have mastered them just love them. I've seen mom's nurse hands free chatting with me using a Moby (I know it is stretcher than woven but it seems to make sense to just purchase 1 wrap since Moby doesn't do too good as they get heavier).

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                    • #11
                      i'd also like to suggest trying to get some help to come in around the house, like family or friends to bring a meal or two. do you have family close by? your baby is still a newborn and this can be an overwhelming time, but also a nurturing time, not only by you, but FOR you.

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                      • #12
                        I also HIGHLY recommend trying a mei tai. There is a slight learning curve, but it's not too difficult to get the hang of it. The mei tai is much better than, say, the Snugli carriers because of sheer comfort (the baby feels weightless and no strain on your back) and versatility (you can do back, side, and front carries). Also, the Snugli carriers (and other front carriers on the market) are not very good for babies because they dangle the baby by their crotch. The mei tai supports the babies spine. But, not all mei tais are created equal. I am good friends with the creator of the Kozy Carrier (www.kozycarrier.com). She is a fabulous woman and her carrier is probably the most popular mei tai out there. Her website gives a lot of great information about mei tais and how to use them. Another great carrier is the Babyhawk Carrier (www.babyhawk.com). These women have an endless list of colors and patterns that you can choose from. I have one of these...it's pink w/brown & pink stripes. Very cute. The body is square, which I needed because my daughter wouldn't keep her arms inside of the mei tai (a lot of them are curved at the top). And, of course, if you are intimidated by the long straps (really, they aren't a big deal), then you could opt for a Becco which has buckles (although a bit pricey).

                        I do have to say, though, that I didn't start using the mei tai until Lily was about 4 or 5 months old (until she could sprawl her legs around my belly comfortably). Although, Kelley Mason (Kozy Carrier creator) puts her newborns in her carriers from day 1...literally. :-) I used the Over the Shoulder Baby Holder for the first few months, which worked great for me. It was very comfortable...and easy to use.

                        One more thought...if you do decide to try a mei tai...I highly recommend that you buy the "Tummy-2-Tummy" DVD, which will show you exactly how to use a mei tai (Kelley Mason is the demonstrator in the DVD). It's $20.00 online, but it was definitely worth it. It will teach you how to use a mei tai, ring sling, wrap, and pouche. www.tummy2tummy.com

                        Good luck with your choices! :-)

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                        • #13
                          My fave for the 1st year was my Kangaroo Korner pouch. I hated the ring sling...just never worked for us. We love our Ergo now, but miss using the pouch - so comfy, sooooo easy, and super cute too! And imo, the KK pouch is much better than the better known hotsling.

                          http://www.kangarookorner.com/

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                          • #14
                            I've got some videos showing holds for a different type of sling that can do "wrap holds" or "ring sling holds". Some have found them helpful even if they don't have my type of sling.
                            I, too, have got the Tummy to Tummy DVD, but it doesn't cover everything!

                            Here's for the wrap type holds: http://www.youtube.com/view_play_lis...335D557A5EC008.
                            Here's for the ring sling type holds: http://www.youtube.com/view_play_lis...03AC507B84C2E3

                            Or here for twin sling:http://www.youtube.com/view_play_lis...8D2DEA65F82E30

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                            • #15
                              Thank you ladies for all of your advice. After attending a LLL meeting with a couple of women who knew wraps I discovered I had the wrong type of fabric all along. So I ventured out to find a more stretchy fabric and stumbled upon Joanne Fabric having a 50% off sale. Lucky for me the girl running the check-out wasn't real great at math and, despite our attempt to correct her mistake, she insisted that 50% of $34.98 was $3.09. Ok, who am I to argue? When I cut it to size I had two wraps for the same price as a candy! Ha! I put the baby in it and within seconds he was sleeping peacefully. Oh, I just love having him that close to me and it's sooo comfy. There isn't nearly the strain on my back that I had using the Snugli. We're going to the Earth Day Festival today to test it out. I can't wait. WOO HOO!

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