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  • Nonviolent Communication and the toddler...

    What does it sound/look like?

    I've recently read Nonviolent Communication and Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids and absolutely love this "giraffe language".

    I've been trying to use it with my toddler (18 months) and am having some difficulty gathering all the creativity needed for some occasions, such as:

    We're going to a playgroup, or some other activity that my toddler will very much enjoy when we get there, but I have a hard time either getting him out the door or into the carseat. I'm trying to avoid any language that is similar to "you have to go" or any "shoulds". I'm realizing that I'm not using any "would you be willing to... (for instance, pick out a toy to bring with you and walk to the car) messages", because I think I'm only doing it to get my way (get him to the car) and not really willing to hear "no". What do you do in situations like this?

    Are there any other "working with" toddler scenarios anyone would like to share? Sometimes it's hard to gather up the creativity and examples help

  • #2
    I find the "hearing the yes" in the '-No- I don't want to go to the car' to be helpful.

    child playing with toy X----wants to still play with it--can we bring toy X in the car? type of thing.

    I still have to read the Respectful Parents book, I have only read other NVC things. I am very curious about giraffe language--a long neck?

    Sometimes I try to wait for a 'window' when they are between things, even if it is early. I just drive around a little extra or play outside in the neighborhood near the playgroup until time. What do you think motivates her to get in the car at all? Just curious!

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    • #3
      Thanks for answering

      I have been forgetting to hear the yes in the no! That was a very well-timed reminder!

      Sometimes he is very excited and can't wait to get to the car. He lives music, and we save his favorite CDs for the car and I think that helps him want in . He occasionally will sign car out of the blue and we'll just go in there. And once this week he actually signed "Mimi" (grandmother) and then car, so we hopped in and visited her!

      But at other times he really isn't quite ready to go. I will be trying to remind myself to look for what he is saying yes to, instead.

      I will also remember your look for a break idea, even if its early. I can see how that may be very useful for us.

      Oh-I think the girrafe was chosen to depict NVC because it has a long neck and can see more objectively and because it has the largest heart.

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      • #4
        Oh-I think the giraffe was chosen to depict NVC because it has a long neck and can see more objectively and because it has the largest heart
        Giraffes don't make any noise either! Maybe that is why too! I need to get that book! I really like the animal analogies.

        I think you are doing fine! That is great about visiting Mimi after he signed it! He must of felt very listened too that day! What satisfaction!

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