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10 month old rage

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  • 10 month old rage

    Hi all,

    DS has gone from really chilled and happy go lucky to being all of a sudden quite sensitive and tempermental on occasion (last week) e.g. if he drops something he may cry or when I'm dressing him he may get a bit annoyed. He was never like this before. I could always easily distract him if he didn't want to get dressed/get nappy changed/put coat on/let go of the newspaper he managed to get hold of and try eating etc now he has a proper strop and appears pretty angry at times. I feel quite upset about it and to be honest I miss how he was before. He also cries occasionally when I leave or his dad goes or if a stranger holds him. I expected that so I don't find it quite as overwhelming. He is ten months today.

    Advice appreciated.

  • #2
    What you describe is all very normal and expected for his age and deveopmental style.
    I know it is frustrating going from an easy happy go lucky baby to one with more feelings an desires but it is impotant for him to have his parents show him consistancy and understa even as he experiences thease new emotions and expereinces.

    There are some great article on this site.... Here is one "Even when we meet their needs well, there are moments every single day when our children long for attention or for things we can't give them the moment they feel the need. When Mommy and Daddy can handle these moments of intense longing gently and with understanding, it makes a huge difference in a child's life."

    Would you like advice in how to deal with a specific situation or were you more curious if other children his age do a similar thing. Is he learning a new thing such as walking or crawling, talking more, maybe expereinceing other changes in his life? All of those things can create an effect on a 10mo old in addtion to just growing.

    I am sorry if this has a lot of mispellings, I am at my MIL's and don't really get her computer to find spelling thingy!


    • #3
      Thanks for your speedy reply! Am finding this really upsetting to be honest. I'm afraid I must have made some major mistakes for him to be so angry. We went to swimming today and when I was dressing him he got extremely angry - he wanted to nurse but he was half dressed and I was still in my swimming gear so would have got him all wet! Also we were in FILs and he found some letters and started eating them. When I took them off him saying they're grandads he arched his back threw himself on the floor and cried. I have to say I felt quite undermined and embarrassed by how he behaved...I also feel like I'm loosing confidence in my parenting a bit. In terms of new skills - he has learnt to crawl two months ago and is pulling to stand and cruising also. Every day his physical skills improve. He's also saying mama and dada mostly in context, waving, clapping and hand pointing - so he's learnt lots lately really.
      Last edited by babymoon; 11-16-2008, 06:39 PM. Reason: edited to make more sense


      • #4
        i think part of what you're describing is that he may be learning cause and effect. he's beginning to experiment with the world and finding that there are natural consequences over which he has no control. some babies find this terribly frustrating. try to reflect his emotions to him, such as "i see you're angry right now. you really wanted to eat that newspaper". it's not going to "fix" it, but it trains you to model empathy and is beginning to help him understand his feelings have words.


        • #5
          Your description reminds me of my DS at that age!

          Some babies and toddlers are much more prone to screaming fits and frustration than others. As a parent, it is very easy to misinterpret this as "bad" behaviour or as a disobedient child. With my DS I found it crucial to always think about him as a good person who is doing his best. This can be hard to do because much of our culture does not believe this about children/babies and is always warning us that children are manipulative and must be forcibly be "made" good. Trusting my child to be ultimately good has been, by far, the best parenting decision I have ever made. My DS has shown me a million different times that this is true. He has been challenging but parenting him has made me grow so much as a parent and a person. I definitely feel I am reaping the rewards now as he approaches 5 years old.

          Your job is to help him be the best "him" he can be, not the calmest or most complacent child.

          Hope this is helps.


          • #6
            Thanks for replies it helps to have the problem reflected back in a more positive light and I agree Jessica that I shouldn't feel too much pressure to have a have my child be calm & complacent there are many other characteristics in a person such as determined and passionate...I am just starting to see these characteristics in my LO


            • #7
              Thanks for the feedback babymoon. I always find it hard to phrase these posts and in retrospect informing you what your job was probably not the best way convey my opinons.

              Originally posted by Jessica View Post
              Your job is to help him be the best "him" he can be, not the calmest or most complacent child.
              But hopefully no harm done.


              • #8
                None at all. Actually think I just needed to off load and it's really helped as today was a great day had more energy to make daily routines fun for DS and he was happy most of the day with no strops to speak of. The whole thing was probably was more to do with low energy and maybe lowish mood on my part than my DS after all! But hammers it home how important it is for all mamas to off load to people who can empathise and support. Thanks again!


                • #9
                  ohh I'm sure he will definitely outgrow it!!!