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Kindergartener refuses to go to ballet class.. How to handle...

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  • Kindergartener refuses to go to ballet class.. How to handle...

    He has gone three times and loved it but all of sudden did not want to go today. When I finally convinced him to leave it was too late. Not sure how to proceed. We signed up until June.

  • #2
    Talk to him, ask him if he would be willing to just go and sit out-side...take baby steps...maybe it was just this week, has he mentioned any stresses or any incidences at the class?
    Do you really want to force or bribe him into loving something?

    Has an outside person commented to him a negativity to ballet for boys? I know I would be worried about that happening!

    Ask him to draw a picture of his ballet class (art therapy style) and see if you might understand a little more.

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    • #3
      This is what happened later on..

      We got home, had a snack and when it was time to go, he lay down on the rug and looked angry. He wasn't budging. Finally he said that he didn't want to be picked up early to go to ballet. He was annoyed that he missed the last 15 minutes of school.

      I was very annoyed because I specifically explained to him before we signed up (it is until JUNE) that he needed to be sure he liked it, also that I would pick him up early. He was thrilled and radiant during all of the classes. He was totally fine for three weeks with it. So today I told him that if he wouldn't go he would have to spend time alone in his room thinking about it (I needed time away or else I would have been angry).

      When I spoke to him he said he still liked ballet, just didn't like missing school for it. So he has agreed to go next week if I don't pick him up early (we will just have to rush and have snack on the way)..

      Any other suggestions, thoughts?

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      • #4
        Is there any majoe reason he can't be late for ballet class? What is he missing in school taht he is so attached to..time with a certain freind? Maybe you could set up a playdate with that person to offset the disapoint ment for example?

        spell checker broken sorry I am a horrrible speller!

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        • #5
          i think that it's hard for a 5 yo to understand a 6 month commitment. he enjoyed it for 3 weeks and may be now realizing he'd rather be at school, or at least that it isn't worth leaving school.

          so, the 2 of you have conflicting needs. you need to not have your money go down the tube, and he needs to have his needs respected as well. can you think of a way to meet BOTH of your needs? is there a way to get your money back? is there a way to take him to a class at a different time slot? is there a way that he can feel good about leaving school?

          i would caution you about sending him to his room to "think about it". you can't control another person's thoughts, let alone a 5 yo. what he may be in there "thinking about" is "mom is angry w/me b/c i can't handle wanting 2 great things" or any other number of other thoughts. if you feel that you need time away from him, explain that YOU need to think about things and go to your own room for a few minutes. modeling what to do when you're angry may better help you accomplish your long=term goals.

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          • #6
            ballet class

            Hi there, I agree that most five-year-olds really cannot comprehend the idea of a long-term commitment and if we look at the Gesell Institute framework of where a five-year-old is developmentally, many times they would prefer to be with their mothers and home even over friends, let alone another activity.
            I say this with love and with experience, as I certainly have been guilty of signing my younger child , (or even my older child at that age), up for something that she was excited about doing and then she really could have cared less. Every child is different, and it important to meet your child's needs and to also understand where he may be developmentally at this point. It is one thing to be able to discuss and reason about going to an activity with a child who is ten, but quite another thing to try to do this with a five year old.
            On the other hand, next week it may be a completely different story and he may be happy to go... Things can change quickly in the life of a small child. Sometimes I think the most peaceful, loving, but matter of fact kind of vibes we can put into the things that are part of our daily lives, the better it all goes and the less to argue about....It becomes less of an emtional battle between you versus your child and more of a "This is just what we do.." with respect for when the child truly is tired, needing a day off, needing connection with you more than the activity or whathave you...
            Ah, if none of that resonates with you, please feel free to ignore. I am new to this forum,and still figuring all these little buttons out and such...
            Warmly,
            Carrie

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