My 18 month old has had issues with hitting ever since he was about one. Its always been a big deal to me, but I feel especially distressed about this since my daughter is so small! I am feeling like I dont know how to handle this. Prior to reading these threads, I was doing time outs and reacting very angrily to his hitting his sister and I feel our relationship was suffering. This past week I utilized many of the tips people gave, and I definitely notice a change in his demeanor. He seems happier and is responding better towards me. I am not doing time outs, and am instead trying to respond mildly and explain hitting hurts and try to offer lots of love and affection. I also try to redirect and distract. I guess my dilemma is when he hits the baby (usually in the face!), or pulls her hair, or tries to bite her, I am wondering should I be doing time outs still? Before when I did them I would stay in the room with him, then went to standing outside the door because he would continue to try and hit me. (We have a door thats in two parts, top and bottom, and I only close the bottom so he could see that I am still there.) I guess I'm confused if time outs are appropriate or not. I read about time ins, but the problem with that is that if I am nursing the baby or holding her because she is fussy, that doesnt work, because me trying to be close to him, which is what he wants most of the time, leads to him continuing to try and hit her. So instead I let him know hitting hurts and try to give him a kiss on the head or something. But I feel that although he is happier and feeling more secure, the hitting has increased, and I am letting the baby be hurt. He always wants to see the baby and hold her and kiss her, and I try very hard to never deny him her, but he goes from hugs to slapping in a flash. He gets very upset if I keep my hands by his to try to stop hitting, but how do I not? I need to protect the baby. So when I try to intervene and stop him, it just makes him hit more and harder. Whenever she is asleep, I spend as much time with him as I can to compensate for when I have her. To make things harder, we live with my boyfriends family, and they all do time outs and say no all the time, so I feel a lot of pressure doing things differently, even though I believe its right. I guess I dont know if what I'm doing is effective, or if there is a better way. Help please!
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18 month old hitting 1 month old!!!