I am new to the forums, and come looking for some support regarding my 4 yo daughter. Our situation is difficult right now in our family, we are on a very small budget, my husband is finshing a Phd and has been working on it the last 4 years, I am with my dd1(4yo) and dd2(2yo) all day everyday alone because dh is working. So I think a lot of my frustration is related to general burnout.
However I have some questions about my dd1. I have felt worried about her lately because she is increasingly competitive about everything, how much love we give her little sister compared to her, she asserts during every topic of conversation that she is the best at this or that, that we love her the best, that she is the most magical(it is cute when she says this). But it makes me feel sad for her, cause it seems like she is really insecure and thats why she has to be the best at everything. Is this an age related thing? or shoudl I be worried about this attitude?
My next thing is the violence directed at little sister. If her llittle sister bugs her, she won't think twice about hitting her or pushing her. I understand that dd2 is kind of a pistol and difficult for dd1 to deal with, but the way she does it just seems so thoughtless. Is this typical with siblings?
Next, what is the deal with getting dressed!!!!! She can do most of it(i think) herself. She seems to have trouble with the underpants, and coat(is that normal for a four year old?) . She won't focus on getting dressed. If I try to do it for her, she squirms and won't cooporate. It is very irritating. I hve to keep refocusing her while she does it and it takes usually fifteen minutes. I am just not sure of her motives when she is acting that way.
Next is the questions, does anyone elses child ask questions NONSTOP. Ahhhh. I am kind of an introvert, and the nonstop questions is taking a toll on me. The questions are things that she often knows the answer too. So I don't understand her motives here either.
And finally, running away. This scares the cr*p out of me. If she is frustrated by a rule or descision I have made that we are going to follow, sometimes she will just run away. I usually respond by chasing after her yelling, seething, freiking out, because what else can I do. She has done this in really dangerous places like outside the grocery store right by a busy road. She has also done it at the park and at her school and outside our apartments several times. I usually get really angry and yell at her and can't even look at her for a few hours. I don't have any idea how to respond to this. It is sooo dangerous, and she keeps doing it.
So those are my concerns. Sorry it is so long. Thank you for all your help.