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Parents not handiling 19 mo. old behaviors well

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  • Parents not handiling 19 mo. old behaviors well

    HI guys- we have a 19 mo. old boy who is a super happy kid. He generally listens when he understands what we are asking and of course other times he doesn't. Lately he has been throwing his Stainless steel sippy (ouch!). During dinner we saw him getting ready to wind up and throw it and hubby tried to reach for it- but he hurled it knocking over 20oz. of a beverage all over the table (good aim- I suppose) Needless to say we had to completely dismantle to dining room to clean up. Then the next night- he threw his food everywhere while sitting for dinner. We screamed "No"- to which he laughs. Then comes the sippy again and we say things like- place your sippy on the tray- or we eat our food- or stop throwing. REgardless he threw the sippy agian- this time knocking something else over- I was infuriated (problem #1) then yanked him from the highchair (problem #2) to prevent further destruction and went into another room and sat on a chair and held him and talked. But of course- I scared him by yanking him out of the high chair- and he tolerated some holding from me but wanted Daddy- who wasn't acting like a lunactic at that moment.
    I really try to tell him what I want him to do rather than what he shouldn't do - but sometimes- "no" slips out. and I raise my voice. I read unconditional parenting and agree with it completely- I struggled to apply some of the contents to such a young baby who isn't very verbal and cannot answer questions or even understand longer explanations as detailed in the book.

    What do you guys do in this situation? I know we both just reacted and feel guilty afterwards. Truly- its as if my son just doesn't get it- he is playing and is happy in the moment- he is not doing this when he is angry- I'm sure from his perspective it is amusing to see stuff fall over when he throws his sippy at it. Ugh! He did learn how to touch us gently after telling him "Gentle" every time he hit us- again when excited.

  • #2
    it sounds like you've identified the root of the issue--he's just trying to have fun. at this age, toddlers are little scientists, learning the rules of the world, like how gravity works and cause and effect. can you look for alternatives to help him explore his world w/out making you crazy? perhaps before dinner you could go outside and play ball, or take bowls of liquid outside and let him experiment.

    when at the table, limit the amounts of food he has at a time, give him more when he's needs it. it could be that throwing food means he's done eating. i bought those little plastic chains and tied my kids' sippy cup down so that i didn't have to get out of my chair constantly, i could just reach over to grab it.

    hope you find something useful here!


    • #3
      My 21m old does this too...I have had a large wooden block pelted at my foot before!
      Yes, he does laugh and thinks it's funny when me and his father get annoyed.
      Like any other damaging behavior (hitting, pushing, biting) there is no magic cure for it and is a developmentally appropriate thing at their ages!
      We do
      --"ouch, that hurts mommies foot, build towers with blocks"
      ----Repeat (do not escalate, just repeat)
      ---ntercede (he does seem to get in a certain mood for throwing, so make a change, go to another room, do another activity etc)
      ---If it is his sippy cup- only let him have it for drinking, when he is done put it closer to you. (in that way this part is like removing Aunt Gerts vase, you KNOW what is going to happen?)
      ----Be patient, you all will work it out. Mine does it with a bowel of watermelon, spaghetti etc....Arrgh!


      • #4
        I 2nd the changing the environment idea. Get a sippy cup that isn't so hard when he throws it. Eat with him in a room that's easier to clean up - or outside. Give him food while you're sitting at the dinner table that doesn't make such a mess, and let him eat his messy foods in a place where it doesn't matter.

        He's just playing and learning. Help him do this in a way that doesn't drive you nuts!


        • #5
          Thanks you guys- you also responded to my breastfeeding post- thanks!
          I never thought of limiting the quantities of food on the tray- duh- sounds so simple now. I really don't want him drinking out of a plastic sippy and there is no other place for us to sit and eat dinner- so I will implement what I can-Actually its dinnertime now-wish me luck!


          • #6
            I have my son drink out of a cup, not a sippy, during meals. He used to chuck those too but I would only fill it up enough for a sip or two so if he did toss it there wouldn't be a mess. Then I'd put a little bit more when he was thirsty again. For a while all he got was dixie cups at meals. He's realized that the whole process isn't that fun so now he can go through a whole meal without tossing his drink. I just have to make sure I don't leave him alone for too long or his entire plate and cup go flying.