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2.5 y.o. hurting 8 mo sister

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  • 2.5 y.o. hurting 8 mo sister

    i am so sad and angry lately. my 2.5 yo son is constantly hitting, poking, kicking my 8 mo daughter. i do my very best to keep him from her but at times he is sweet and i don't want to forbid him from her. today he kicked her so hard with his shoes on that he bruised her eye. i was sitting right there and it came out of nowhere. i do the usual "hands are not for hhitting" phrase. tell him i love him and hug him when he hurts her. try to give him words/other things to do when he feel mad/frustrated at the baby. sometimes it works . lately he has been so aggressive and today i feel mad at him and i am having a hard time letting it go. i need a fresh perspective and some ideas please. thanks you very much.
    laurai

  • #2
    that sounds rough! do you think he's upset about there being a baby? is he jealous? do you get enough one-on-one time w/him? does he ever interact peacefully w/her? does he hit when he's tired? hungry?

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    • #3
      It's hard having mama-love for both, and seeing one of your babies hurt the other one, isn't it?

      My son was almost 2 when his younger sister was born. I predicted that her first words would be "get off of her!" because he would sit on her head, and that was my knee-jerk reaction.

      What I did, hard as it was, was to ignore that kind of behaviour, and ask him to help me as much as he could--he would wipe her legs with diaper wipes while I cleaned her private parts, he would stroke her hair while I massaged her gums. I tandem nursed and let him pick which side. I also would let him hold her and I'd take pictures. I would tell him that she is my little baby, but that he was my big boy baby. Also I'd make a big, big deal out of hugging and holding him, and showing him in the mirror how happy I am to hold him.

      Now he is almost 4 and she just turned 2. He still loves to change her diaper and play with her. They fight like cats & dogs, but they love each other to pieces and always look for the other.

      I feel that your son misses his mommy and is looking for attention, any way he can get it.

      HTH,

      apmommy

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      • #4
        i would think of course he is a bit jealous and of course he misses having me all to himself. i don't see a pattern with his aggressive behavior (i.e. hungry, tired). today was a lot better. i continued to tell him that mama and daddy love seeing him grow up and are very proud of the little boy he is becoming. i told him again that it is okay to feel mad but it is not okay to hurt. i told him it must feel hard sometimes having a baby sister because mama has to do so much with her BECAUSE she is a baby like carry her, feed her, respond to her cry's, help her walk etc. he said "yes mama." i will tell him these things everyday instead of just every now and then. iti seemed to help today. the baby is also sick a lot of the time. we have been in the hospital 3x since she was 2 mo old and she is having surgery in 2 weeks and will have an extended recovery. this has been hard for him and will continue to be. i was never away from him until her first hospitalization. i am trying so hard to get 1-on-1 with him but it usually just doesn't work out that way. she will often take her morning nap in the ergo and then he and i have a bit of time together but i am still holding her. rambling i am. other suggestions?? thanks for the reply's.
        laura

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