My wife and I have put the effort into the AP lifestyle, but I fear we are losing ground in the discipline department. Just today my wife told our 4yo to stop and wait before leaving the car in a parking lot and he looked at her as if to acknowledge the statement then he darted out into traffic and brought cars to a screeching halt.
His behavior has consistently been to look at us then do exactly what we tell him not to do. We are at a loss. Our younger son (22 months) listens, does as he's asked, etc. No problems with him (yet).
We've gotten to the point where the frustration leads to times out. Occasionally we pull him close for a hug and to comfort, but he spends way too much time in time out as a result of hitting his brother, throwing toys at us, and generally being disobedient. Today at the dentist he flailed his arms and legs, hit us, threw himself off the exam chair, etc. Taking him aside to talk to him and explain things seems to fall on deaf ears. Part of my trouble is that I expect him to participate in a discussion as if he is an adult - I don't know that I talk to him with the understanding that he just turned four. Should I expect that he can understand a grown-up explanation of consequences and appropriate behavior?
We don't know how to address the problem. Are we failing at AP discipline? Do we fully understand the principles?
We're looking for help and support. Any advice you all have to offer would be greatly appreciated.
Many thanks - Evan