lily is three and half now; arent these supposed to be called the yes years?
I was really good with her when she was a baby when she cried. (she cried a lot!) just feeling like it should be finished now. Cant see the end of the tunnel.
i am pregnant with the third and have just accepted to child mind two other kids.
im just not coping and im really worried about how im going to cope when the baby comes.
i have lost it now about ten times; i get really angry, screaming and very rough with her.
i really have to do something;
I appologise each time to her. Then tell myself to not do it again then the next time it happens again.
Our family in law are really non ap and i think it has unfortunately filtered through.Hence the losing patience.
Here s some questions for you...
Where is the line between spoilt brat and high need child? We are starting to think that maybe we have created a spoilt brat.
When Lily has her meltdown at lunchtime she usually begs to go upstairs to bed. She sucks her dummies which are usually only allowed for sleeping then comes back down in a better mood. My dh has started hiding the dummies. Should we allow her to have them or continue hiding them? We feel terrible that she has to turn to dummies instead of us. I think she has obviously seen we have no more compassion or patience so she has to turn to dummies. I would sit and cuddle her but there is the other child to look after and the dinner to prepare and serve. My husband is a french farmer that rarely does 'womans work'. I am an artist that lived in London before living in french countryside.
Is it ok to get strict at lunch time eg.' You eat what i give you or you get down from the table.'(she does come back and eat it in the end but we have ages of crying)
Should we force her to at least try everything? otherwise no desert.
Is it ok to say... no crying at the table or you get down. Is this emotion stuffing? We just cant stand it anymore.
In the past we have cuddled, cajoled, clowned around tried to change the subject ect. To no avail.
i have just spent loads of money on books i saw you had reccommended to other people mostly about tantrums in kids. But i think the main issue is really about me losing control,feeling put upon, burnout, not coping etc. can you reccommend one? My mum was mostly ap but my dad was rarely there and didnt help. She did have seven children and when we got bit older we wouldnt listen to her and misbehaved. Sometimes she resorted to hitting us with a plastic shoe. or crying or shouting or throwing our toys away if we didnt tidy up. Non of this worked and dont want to go down this route. Dont have time for therapy. Maybe there is a special forum for people who cant control their emotions. Most of the time am very happy person. Don t realise till too late that there is actually a problem.
Have organised some home help which will start when i am four months pregnant untill the birth and perhaps things will get better with the books i am getting through the post.
I have already posted here and each time things have miraculously got better just after posting. You really are such an essential service for parents. Thank you so much for being there for me and others. xxx