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2yo whining/crying/hitting/yelling

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  • 2yo whining/crying/hitting/yelling

    Since my( now) 4mo was born, my 2y3mo has been presenting with new behaviors (she had never experienced before).
    It mainly consists of getting attention doesn't matter what, and NOT letting other people get it. They mainly happen around me, but sometimes around my husband (although in less quantities.
    1. She will whine and cry for EVERYTHING. Even things she would ask before. Even thing she knows (at least I'd think she'd know) we will give. An example: she will want for water or milk on a cup. She will cry (fake cry/whine) and say: juice (how she calls water), or KAKA (milk). The cry does not stop when I say I will give it to her. It remains as she sees me get the milk in the refrigerator, open the place where I keep cups, and even through the time it takes to warm up (she likes it to be on the microwave for 20-30 sec. this warm). She will cry while counting down. She will then stop crying immediately as soon as she gets her milk. BUT if the milk/water ends, and she is not satisfied, she will CRY and CRY and CRY while shaking the cup in front of me. Does not matter how she can (and have said) say more milk, or more kaka, or whatever. She will cry until I make more and give to her. I have never refused to give it to her, so those make no sense.
    She will also cry just because she wants to be held or play. I have told her: do you want to play with mommy? just ask. no need for crying. But she will remain crying for the first 10 or 15 minutes of the play.
    2. If someone (anyone) tries to get close to me when we are together, she will yell: NOOO, GO AWAY BABY, or GO AWAY SISSI (to her older sister). She will push them, and hit them or kick. If we are in a library or park, and someone comes close to us (even though they don't acknowledge us, she will do the same. Hitting, kicking, or yelling: Go away man/lady/boy/girl.
    It is a problem because my other 2 girls need my attention, and 2yo has been monopolizing it. She will cry if I stop our game to nurse baby, and will "attack" her teenage sister if I turn to give her a hug and kiss when she comes home for school. This has specially caused some tension because my teen was adopted 2 years ago, still has attachment issues and many times feel inferior to my 2yo and baby. She needs some mom time and attention but it is hard with 2yo jumping on her everytime I attempt to give it.

    I am very new to AP (as in just started learning about it a little less than a month ago) and am not sure of how to respond to it other than time out. I tried having her sister say it hurt and leave or say it hurt I don't want to play with you if you hurt me... I also tried to explain it hurt sister and made sister sad, but made no progress.

    Any idea????

  • #2
    why would you put her into a time out? she is stressed beyond believe by the arrival of the new baby!

    my older son was a nightmare for almost a year and it's just starting to get better (younger one is 14 months the older one is 3years old) at the beginning, for about 6-10 months we could not even turn our head away; we had to watch 24/7 the older one just so that he didn't heart his brother badly. It was frustrating and I felt angry and sad - all of us, I suppose - have the ideal picture of a happy family in our heads..
    - i know it's not much of a relief but "this too shell pass"...

    all you could do is say and SHOW over and over again how much you love your girl, and wait till it gets better
    as for the teenager... do you think it would work if you gave her more baby-related tasks? It might help the older one feel needed and involved. This even worked with our one...? and see it from the toddler's point of view - she probably just got over one rival (the older kid) and now there is another one