Just posting for views about something that happened which has been on my mind a lot recently. We were at a playgroup with my little boy who's 3 having a lovely time. He was playing with his friends and having fun. At one point during the play a friends daughter was in a toy car and my son and his friend both raised the toys they were holding and looked like they were about to hit the little girl. At this point parents ran over and stopped them. The other child was told off and sent home.
I went to talk to my son and explain that he could have hurt the little girl and that it was a bad decision and he shouldn't do something like that again. He listened and said 'okay mummy I wont do it again'. However the discipling of the other child continued and I was asked by the mother of the little girl if I could make my son come over and 'say sorry'. I've never been in a situation where I have been directly asked to do something which went against what I belive in as a parent. I felt the important thing in terms of discipline was for my son to understand why what he did was wrong and for some learning to take place so it may not happen again. I was really put on the spot and felt pulled between championing my child and bowing to the social pressure. I ended up asking my son if he wanted to apologise - he said no (to be fair there was no harm actually done and the little girl was happily playing with the incident forgotten anyway).
We talked about it in the car in the way home, they had all been playing 'batman' and the little girl was shoting at them with a toy pistol so they went to hit her back. It was just a misjudgment about the amount of force and getting carried away in the game.
Anyway its been on my mind as I'm aware that I probably came accross badly to the other mums who seen me as completely submissive in letting my child 'get away' with the behaviour and not shouting or punishing him. The power of peer pressure hey