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How do you calm yourself down

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  • How do you calm yourself down

    How do you calm yourself down when you get seething angry with your children? Here's an example. We have been struggling on and off with biting this past year, my daughter bites my son, she has never bitten anyone else, never even looked like she would. With other children she does great with her frustration. We have identified a major issue being her dental health. The biting was at it's worst and we found out she had 3 cavities. We had them filled it completely stopped. Now a few months ago one of the fillings got very loose and needs to be replaced, the tooth is causing her problems again and she will not let us floss it without a major fight because it hurts so bad. We know this is going on, but we didn't put her on our dental insurance last year and can't afford another filling right now. So we have to wait until Jan 1 to get the filling fixed.

    Okay so that was long, but here's the real issue. So today the kids were dumping water in and out of water cups while I cleaned the kitchen up, they were happy playing together. Than my son did something my daughter didn't like and she reached over and bit his arm, and hard and would not let go. Thank God he had on a very heavy flannel shirt and another layer as well, it didn't break skin. I am still seething at her, I am so angry. My husband handled the initial discipline of the situation, because I just couldn't. And my son has completely forgiven her and they are now happily running around and playing, but I am still seething. I am still so angry.

    It's moments like this that I wonder does positive discipline really work? Because I have no repercussion to this, she laughs about it says yeah I know I won't do it again and then run's off. She's not getting it. I feel like I have to do something so that she will stop biting.

    I can't seem to calm down even after my son who is the injured party is way past it.

    My kids are 4 and 21mo.

  • #2
    I realize that this may have been unclear as I was writing in the heat of the moment as part of an outlet.
    We have consulted with her dentist, who has agreed that we should wait to fix the filling. It is not causing significant pain at any time other than when we floss at the wrong angle. And it probably isn't significant it's not like she is screaming and yelling in pain she says ouch and we move on. And she might be hesitant to let us floss that tooth again so when we get to that tooth she wiggles away.

    I do not actually think the tooth is the main problem here. And I am not feeling guilty about the tooth, if it were that severe we would have fixed it long ago. But we consulted with the dentist who believed it wasn't worth fixing at this time. she never complains about it unless we are flossing.

    I think I use the tooth issue to help me understand the biting merely because I know it helped the first time. When we found out about the cavities the first time we had no idea she had never complained and they were hurting and they were very small. It could have been a total coincidence that it coincided with the biting, I am just looking for some reason to help the biting stop.