Announcement

Announcement Module
Collapse
No announcement yet.

Family Not on Board

Page Title Module
Move Remove Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Family Not on Board

    When I was 16 on got some really bad blood work and my dr. informed me that it would be in my best interest if I never got pregnant (I had the begining signs of lupus and his fear was that during the pregnancy it would develop into full blown lupus). I was devistated! I love children sooo much. After much greiving I focused on a carrier in Mental health working with teens. I was satisfied doing that. After a routine check up with my dr. he told me. This is the best blood work you've had in almost 10 years. If you want to get pregnant- go for it. I was pregnant in 2 months It was a horrible pregnancy. I spent more time in the ER than I did at home. I was diagnoised with sever hyperemisis gravadarum. I was given medicine to try and help make it better but because we had no coverage for the I was unable to take all of them and my parents payed for the ones they could afford. In my first trimester I was vomiting about 200 times a day. I ended up tearing my esophagus and pulling muscles in my stomach. One day while vomiting i felt a loud pop and my dh had to run me to a near by ER where they thought I may be suffering from appendicitis. They couldn't find it on an ultra sound and they could see fluid around my ovaries that would indicate a cyst poping. They decided to fill me with anitbiotics incase I did have appendicitis. This led to developing a C dif infection in my bowls and more hospitalization. I was constantly having to recieve IV's to prevent dehydration and I have scars on my arms because I had so many. After 9 months of constantly puking my highrisk dr enduced me a week early. I was blessed to deliver a beautiful baby girl who was healthy. At my 6 week check up dr. recommended tubiligation (might be a spelling mistake there). My reply was wants the point i have bad periods i'll be on BC for the rest of my life. You might as well do one more snip and take the uterus out. He agreed and referred me to another dr. The gynocoligist agreed and told me when i'm done BF i can get the hystorectomy done whenever I want. Right after the birth i was 100% sure I wanted it. Now that I have a 2 yr old i'm craving another one. It's too the point I really don't hold babies anymore because I come home a cry that I can't have another.
    A week ago I started doing research on hyperemisis in pregnancy and found a wonderful site where mom's have survived multiple pregnancy's with this dibilitating disorder and their babies we're healthy. All the research I've done says their is no side-effects to the baby in regards to the hyperemisis. The only side-effects that are dangerous are Dehydration and Malnurishment however I've talked with some midwives in the area and they are able to treat me at home with this unfortunate issue.
    I kinda of hinted to my parents that i was thinking about becoming pregnant again and they told me that they were 100% against it. That I was being selfish and I would be hospitalized and it would be detrimental to my DD as she is securly attatched to me. I could possibly kill my next lo or myself and I should count myself lucky i have my dd and move on with my life. My dh is for it as well as my MIL. My GP is against it but by OB told me "I'll see you again in 2 yrs". I'm soo confused. I have gone from one extream to another and I'm torn on what to do. I don't want to hurt my dd by being seperated from her too much, but I don't want her to feel alone because she's an only child (something some my friends who are only children complain about and still to this day tell me i have to have another child, i can't make me dd feel like they do). I'm looking for advice or support on what to do! My parents are so important to me (I'm very attatched to them and they play a huge role in my life). I don't want them to be disappointed or angry at me but i really want another baby

  • #2
    What an incredibly difficult situation, you really are stuck in a difficult place. There are serious concerns that family and doctors are bringing up. But I think it you are making a decision with the full knowledge of all the possibilities and are really being honest with yourself about your willingness to take on these risks, then I would talk to your parents. They are obviously scared and they love you as much as you love your daughter. I don't know that they would be dissapointed and angry as much as scared which might come out that way. maybe encourage them to come and meet with the doctors so they can hear the information that is making you feel okay about it. Good luck!!!!

    Comment


    • #3
      I've been huming and hawing over this for a couple of days. Part of me has thought about sitting down with them and part of me is just considering telling them once i'm pregnant. They have told dh they will hold him resposible if he get's me preg (like it only takes one person) and they have also said they will drive him to the dr's for snip snip if he's even concidering it. They are the type of people that what they say goes and they will do whatever it takes to get it. Whether that means through manipulation of force. If i tell them before i'm preg my Mom could hospitalized for "Stress" (as she's had to have this in the past due to mental health concerned) and I will have them fighting with me all the time. If i wait until i'm prego they will just say "we told you so", "what were you thinking", "how can you be so irresponsible" etc all done with an air of anger behind it. Something I won't need at the time. I really don't know what to do with them. I guess I'm just really stressed already and I'm always looking for ways to doubt my decision. I"ve been debating about a second pregnancy for about a year now. I want it but I"m really scared.
      Last edited by smurfsammy; 06-16-2010, 09:22 PM.

      Comment


      • #4
        I also wanted to add that i'm worried about how this will affect dd. I had the flu this winter and was sick with it a lot (although no where near as frequent as I am in hyperemesis). She was always quite scared and would say to me "mommy's not going to be sick again". I just told her "mommy has an angry tummy" but it will calm down soon enough. I was no where near as sick as i will be if i get pregnant (however i will say I am doing way more proactive work this time because i know what's going to happen). Have any of you ap mom's had this happen. How did you stop your lo from becoming scared, angry or resentful of the baby for the time it's taking mommy away??

        Comment


        • #5
          Great news i just had a talk with my mom and she has told me that my dad and her will be on board to help me care for my dd if i get sick during my pregnancy. I'm sooooo excited. This just makes my day

          Comment


          • #6
            Yay! Have you started ttc?

            Comment


            • #7
              Is adoption something you would be interested in?

              Comment

              Working...
              X