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ds can't make choices

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  • ds can't make choices

    all of a sudden, ds1 (5 in 3 weeks) can't make decisions. he gets to watch one video a day. it took him 45 min. to choose today (has been getting increasingly longer). he can have 1 treat. he had a complete meltdown, screaming "I can't decide!". he was trying to choose between a square cookie and a round cookie. we even said, have one today and the other tomorrow. numerous incidences like this. anyone else?? just looking for whether or not this is age-appropriate.

  • #2
    hhmm Dedra
    I wonder if it is becoming to stressful for him ..the choice itself..how big is his library to choose form?
    Maybe just pick like 5 movies or 3 for him to choose from.
    If he asks for one that he does not see then get it for him, but I wonder if something else is maybe happening causing his sudden indecisiveness...
    or too, it could be because he is getting older and is coming into his own and really understanding the concept of he can have control over these choices, so he maybe working through that he can also (have a choice of not being sure which he wants) have the choice of being undecided.
    I am sure it is just a process from him and he will figure it out with or without your assistance
    Last edited by harmonicker; 05-03-2008, 10:54 AM. Reason: typos

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    • #3
      [COLOR="rgb(0, 100, 0)"]
      Originally posted by harmonicker View Post
      hhmm Dedra
      I wonder if it is becoming to stressful for him ..the choice itself..how big is his library to choose form?
      Maybe just pick like 5 movies or 3 for him to choose from.
      having too many choices explains the videos, but not the cookie (just 2 choices)

      Originally posted by harmonicker View Post
      If he asks for one that he does not see then get it for him, but I wonder if something else is maybe happening causing his sudden indecisiveness...
      yes, that's what i'm wondering, too. that's why i'm asking if anyone else has this issue, if it's developmental or not...

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      • #4
        I have had some of my kids do that even with two choices. Usually they were tired or loved all of the choices so much they couldn't decide.
        A friend pointed out to me with things like a cookie or ice cream, how about half of each and usually that helped quite a bit.

        Sometimes choices are hard for people when you like everything presented to you.


        Even adults get stuck. I know I have days where I cant decide and thinking can make my brain hurt.

        This week alone,

        Do I want the new washing machine or the new dishwasher, when both are broken and I really want both.

        Do I want to serve peas or carrots with dinner? What do I want to even make for dinner, there was a time when I had a weekly menu, really need to get back to that...

        Do I want to read the latest paper by Danah Boyd or do I want to read the latest NVC publication? I want to do it all, but I just don't have the time.

        Do I want to shave my armpits or my legs?

        It does get better. If after awhile with age and some figuring ways around it you still see your little one panicking, then you might want to think more about it, but I have seen it a lot.

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        • #5
          I wanted to add and didn't get to. (Ronnie nursed forever and I fell asleep)
          If you do offer that they have half of each or you see where they stress like having a scoop of chocolate and vanilla but they are touching, then you might want to talk to someone.

          Hugs mama.

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          • #6
            My son is 3 and was recently having this problem as well. he would just respond, "Nothing." When presented with any choice.

            Do you want a PB sandwich or tuna? "Nothing."

            I stopped giving him silly choices to make him feel more empowered and jsut made the choice for him. I would just have him a tuna sandwich at lunch time and he'd simply say, "Thanks, Mama." I think it was a relief for him not to have to make so many decisions.

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            • #7
              maybe the added option of 'do you want me to choose/do you want me to surprise you' would be beneficial.
              im very indecisive myself so my oldest heard me saying that and used it herself.
              id take it as a good sign though, hes thinking things through thoroughly

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