She gets very upset over small things. For example, her candy (almost gone) fell to the ground. I explained that it was dirty (really gross this time or I would have let it go) and that I had a 'new' one for her to have. She didn't want it. She wanted the old one. Getting new of something or replacement does not go over well, with anything.
Her upset number doesn't seem to match the event on the importance scale. (dropped candy=1, bleeding=9) Although I am validating her level of 'upsetness' to the situation (dropped candy is a 1 to me and a 7 to her), but I am struggling to help her understand not everything is a 10, and a new candy is an acceptable substitute. We made a big deal about releasing her sister's balloon to the sky, explained and told her what we were doing and she became hysterical. Even though she had a balloon of her own.
I am trying to find out WHY she has this reaction to things so that I can work backwards to fulfill that need. She is very intrinsically motivated. 'Potty prizes' for example really don't do much. New toys, not much reaction. She gets very upset if I am mad or frustated.
She is kinda a neat freak. There are moments she organizes and loves doine it(Being very honest I am a recovering type-A personality.) This means I am inconsistent with 'let's get dirty and make a mess' to 'you are making a mess, let's clean.' I think it is a healthy balance but perhaps she sees my inconsistency. (Example, our floor is okay to eat something that fell, in restaurants it is not okay.)
Your suggestions and thoughts is appreciated.