Announcement

Announcement Module
Collapse
No announcement yet.

questions

Page Title Module
Move Remove Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • questions

    up until now i have been responding to all of my 8 mos olds cues: feeding on demand, picking up when she wanted, & meeting all her bordom cues. However i'm finding now she expects everything now. my mom tells me that i'm creating a dependant child who will want everything on her schedual. i have tried to tell my lo "hold on mommy's coming" when she wants up & i can grab her right away because my hands are dirty, however she tends to escalate very quickly until she's coughing from crying so hard. She throws temper tyantrums when i take her away from things she can't play with. to which i simply tell her "no touch, not abby's. play with this instead". now when she's mad she'll ppull hair and pinch skin. to this i say "ouch that hurts mommy, please don't do that". how do you guys deal with these types of behaviours??
    Last edited by smurfsammy; 12-09-2008, 03:18 PM.

  • #2
    around this age, babies often go through separation and stranger anxiety. they're separating who they are from who you are, and this can cause a lot of emotion. continuing to respond to her in the ways you've described is the best way to ensure her that she's okay and you're there for her.

    if she is "expecting everything now", then you have done your job. you have shown her that you meet her needs. she is only 8 mos, she will gradually learn a little patience, but she is completely developmentally appropriate. it's hard, but you will have to learn to ignore the "dependent" comments. you are her mother and you are her expert on what she needs. that is not for others to decide.
    Last edited by PaxMamma; 12-09-2008, 03:39 PM.

    Comment


    • #3
      good point ty, i changed it. i just wanted to make sure we were at a normal stage

      Comment


      • #4
        okay, i edited my post to reflect your change. w/out it, other readers would be thrown off

        Comment


        • #5
          perhaps she is also very tired when the biggest episodes occur? or hungry?
          i often find my little angel responds much more poorly when she is hungry or tired or feeling ignored for too long.
          what i do sounds a lot like what you are doing...
          i try to explain to my dd's what they are doing - ie: putting words to their feelings, and giving them information. For example:
          if i have to take a toy - i first find an alternative, something she may not have seen before (like a lotion bottle, or soda can is often helpful), and give it to her if I can. if what she has is too dangerous to wait for me to find an alternative, i do take the item first, then redirect.
          I respond appropriately to the item - a dangerous item gets a "oh, my sweet baby, that could give you an owie. Let's put that up here so it doesn't hurt you. ... aaww oh, i'm sorry you're disappointed (true sounds of sympathy). What else can we find to play with? (happy, anticipatory, playful tone). smiling i lead or carry her to something i feel she might be interested in, and keep playing for a bit to get her involved in something (lesson for dd: there are always other interesting things to find to do)
          if she is highly resistant or pitches a fit it usually indicates that she is tired, hungry or has not really engaged in an activity. so i mentally seek the most plausible underlying cause, and head that direction...
          "oh, sweetie, you are soooo tired. let's sit down and have a snack (our codeword for nursing) so you can rest."
          "oh, you poor hungry thing, we have not had breakfast/lunch/etc yet. would you like some (fill in the blank)?"
          sounds like you are on the right track with her.
          hmm, removing the offending hands from your body or hair would be the only thing I would suggest, then guiding them to a more appropriate and interest-engaging activity after your explanation?

          Comment

          Working...
          X