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My son wont' obey at all

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  • #16
    Originally posted by Jessica View Post
    MamaLion, I think what you're describing is considered a "Time-in" not a "Time-out"
    Yes but part of my point was we use the term time out in our home, so when others use the term it might not be as it sounds.

    My son runs around the house screaming "don't smack me, don't smack me" sometimes. Out of context it's awful, but in actual fact I like to gently smack his bottom and he giggles and runs off saying for me not to do it again (he taunts me, he likes it)

    Things aren't always as they sound and I think people are too quick to judge sometimes


    • #17
      Originally posted by MamaLion View Post
      Things aren't always as they sound and I think people are too quick to judge sometimes
      there are oftentimes language barriers in our dialogue, especially when certain words mean one thing to one person and another to someone else. however, the comments here were in response to a very specific description of how time-out was being used. no judgments were made.


      • #18
        I have to agree with what someone else was saying about discipline being a learning experience. When my child has a tantrum, I try to soothe her until she has calmed, then we work at solving whatever problem caused the tantrum in the first place. I try to model language for her (she is not speaking much yet) and then we work on the problem together.

        About throwing things - that happens at our house, too. When it does, I say, "Uh-oh, we don't throw books. We throw balls. Let's get a ball and throw!" I find the ball (or a collection of balls) and then we throw them around (we have some very soft balls perfect for indoor tossing).

        Some things that may help to diffuse a tantrum: get down to their level, make eye contact (as long as that is something your child likes - I know some little ones are very sensitive/reactive to that), empathize with the strength of the feeling (sometimes I tell Sophia, "You feel mad! You feel so mad! You want that, don't you?"). Knowing they are "heard" can really help them. Since I want her to learn, when the brain is in a tantrum state, not much higher-level thinking can happen, so that is why I work at attuning to her feelings, matching her energy, validating her feelings/needs, using gentle touch (holding, cuddling) etc. so she can have help dialing down her big feelings. Then we can work at the learning/solving the problem part.

        Hugs to you - this is one of the hardest things about being a parent, I think!!