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Help. I swore at my 14 mnth old, feel terrible

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  • Help. I swore at my 14 mnth old, feel terrible

    Hi... please help me here. I have a good, attached r.ship with my 14mnth daughter. SHe is a delight, in every way. Naturally, with sleep deprivation (3hr sleep is a long stretch for her) and toddlerhood here, I do get my buttons pushed, but usually jsut say it in my head and able to be v patient. Sometimes, she bites my nipple, not overly hard, but hard enough, not really in a negative way, but it gets me for some reason! and also really hurts. I usually take her straight off, and although I hate to say "NO" to things, or lead with the word No, I do for this. I look her sternly, tell her No and that it hurts, THe other day I said don't bit my nipple, but was very tired and used the f word - something that I thought I would never do. I hate that I did this. Any suggestions here. thanks.

  • #2
    i suggest giving yourself a break we ALL do things we never thought we would. the important thing is to learn from it and then move on. i can tell you that i personally have used words and tactics that completely violate my parenting philosophy, but i am human.


    • #3
      i can tell you that i personally have used words and tactics that completely violate my parenting philosophy, but i am human.
      Me too!

      It is a good habit to start apologizing to your child if you feel you have gotten out of hand in some way. It is good modeling for them too.


      • #4
        Most mothers have used that word. It is only a word. There was recently a study about cursing while in pain and how it naturally relieved the pain.

        I never made swear words off limits in my house and in doing so, found my kids used them less than other kids. Because there was no taboo they didn't have that urge to use them like crazy outside of the home. We discuss words and the meaning behind them and which ones are appropriate to use in public because others may have issues or the words may have negative social stigmas attached to them.

        One time I put a saw through my hand and was at the hospital. There were little toddlers in the bed next to me and I was in intense pain so I thought of my secondary curse words. Things that put fat on my thighs and was yelling those out. Cheesecake, brownies, hot fudge sundaes. Not as effective but the kids were all giggling in the emergency room so it eased some of the chaos.




        • #5
          Thank you

          THANK YOU once again! as always, it helps to mornalize these things and not feel like a horrible, moody Mum this really helped, I do really appreciate it. Life is just tense right now, moved to Brazil, livng with in-laws, with hubby having some feelings erupting re: his Dad and childhood - wow! lots going on. Rarely get a break from parenting or alone with my hubby. We are bickering, it seems, on a daily basis also.... anyway, I do appreciate this help very much.


          • #6
            Is it a common word in your house? You know like EcoMaMa said it is only a word.

            The first few weeks nursing I said a few right choices every time we nursed. I hoped the baby didn't think it was her name.

            I'll tell you a funny story. When my DS was 2 he was still hardly talking, we went to a safari park in the car he smacked me in the nose with a toy, HARD, like break your nose hard kind of hard. I screamed F**** really loud. Well that day he said that word like 10000000 times, the next day he said the word in combination with dada (2 words together was a huge deal as he refused to talk before) and the end of the week he was talking quite a bit.

            Don't beat yourself up. I'm sure you'll slip a few more words before your out the 2's and you know what, I don't think anyone will notice as much as yourself


            • #7
              The funny thing is even if you don't use bad words the kids can surprise you. When my kids started to talk I was horrified to hear things like f*ck = frog, b*tch = bridge, until I figured out what they meant. I felt so much better. I am not against expressing anger verbally, it is better than hitting but I don't want them to be the first in JK to say those words so that I get the message back from the teacher. I hope by the time they start using them they will be old enough that we can talk about what is acceptable.


              • #8
                Just wanted to encourage you - it is a really good sign that you feel bad for being cross with your little one!! She is a lucky girl to have a mom who cares about the tone of voice/intention of what is being said to her!! The beauty is that this is a perfect way for your girl to learn that we all make mistakes and we can clean up our messes with a hug and apology - even moms!


                • #9
                  LOL MamaLion. I have been off grid awhile and come back to read your post.
                  Thank you for the smile.