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  • Step parenting

    SOrry if there is a proper place to put this thread, please re direct me if there is.

    Im having a hang of a time getting on with my 9 yr old step daughter, her dad and i have been together since she was 6 and a half, so 3.5 years now. we go through patches of getting on, shes respectful to me and all that, but theres just no bond there at all, and in fact i resent her most the time. There we go I said it.

    We have a 17 month old daughter together.


    How do I do it? what ap tools can i use?

  • #2
    If you resent her, then she knows it; and that will be the greatest hinderance in your relationship. Can you explore why you resent her and what it will take for you to get over your resentment?

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    • #3
      Hmm. I have had 2 step fathers and two unofficial (not legally married to my father but filling that role for many years) stepmothers.
      My stepmothers seemed to genuinely like young people and never tried to hard to connect. One of my step-fathers did that, pretending to be interested in something I was 'just because'. I knew he had NO INTREST whatsoever and that was just odd, I felt pandered to!
      I agree with Paxmamma that your step-daughter feels your negitive overtone, even if you work hard to not make it visable. A pre-teen values everyday kindness and may feel on the spot with 'special activities'.
      Do you live with her or does she vist? Then how often?
      Has she delt with her parents divorce? Has her mother re-married?
      What else is going on in her/your life? How does she feel about her little sister?

      What do you imagine your ideal relationship with her to be like?

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