Like as an example this morning he went into my drawer in my bedroom and pulled out my hair straightener. I walk into him playing with it while it was plugged in.... not turned on thankfully.... I ask him to put it down, he doesnt. I ask again and explain that it gets very hot and we dont play with hot things. He yells "no" I say that as he cannot listen I am going to take it off him, so I do. He screams and starts trashing the room by throwing things on the floor. I attempt to redirect him by offering to read some books (he loves books) no dice. So I say 'I know that you are angry because Mum took the straighteners off you, I'ts OK to be angry' and then I sit there with him.... for TEN min until DD starts crying in the other room, I have to go to her of course and tell DS that he can come too.... he follows me around the house screaming for the next thirty min all while trying to kick the cats and throwing anything he comes across on the ground. The house is in total chaos once this finished and then it starts all over again about half an hour later.
I really do try and keep my cool but I feel like I am being held hostage by him! He is not a distractable child and never has been, he is not fooled by offering him something else.... unless its something he also shouldnt be doing. Like if I said "lets go draw some pictures" he wouldnt be interested, if I said "lets go draw on the walls" he would be there in a flash.
I am sick and tired of having to repeat everything I say a million times until I eventually have to just take something off him or remove him from the room. The house is baby proofed and all of our really nice stuff that we dont want broken has been put away so up to this point there have been very few things that he wasnt allowed to play with. Now however he can open any drawer and just drags a chair to get to higher places. I have the dangerous stuff like medicine under lock and key but not everything can be made that safe, and surely we shouldnt have to live like that either!?!?!?!
What do I do? I am not wanting to do time outs or spank which is of course what everyone is telling me I NEED to do and claiming that AP has caused this problem. I am starting to wonder if they are right. He isnt naughty as such just SO CURIOUS and cannot seem to stop himself from doing things. But I have got to the point where the only course of action I can take is to just spend my day taking stuff off him! I just dont know what else to do. When he wants something that is ALL he wants and the only way to stop that is to cause a tantrum. I also have his sister to look after and at the moment I feel like I spend my days in a battle of wills with DS while ignoring DD.
I need help.
Sorry this is so long.