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saying goodbye ... i need help

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  • saying goodbye ... i need help

    Hi,

    I have a few questions about saying goodbye to my 16 mo old DD.

    I have always said 2 phrases : for leaving a room "Mommy always comes back" or for leaving the house a longer version "mommy always comes back i love you bubye".

    now, i think 1 thing that will help me with my issue is if i *remember* to do the first one. I dont always. Sometimes I also just say "i'm going in here to do x". sometimes i just go w/out even realizing it or she leaves the room or whatever. we end up apart and she doenst notice or care.

    My issue is leaving the house. DD gets sooooooo upset. For a while I found if i just distanced myself by doing a few other tasks, then just saying it from a distance, she'd be fine. Now she gets upset no matter the variant I try it - busying myself or her, holding her, giving her over to whoever is staying w/ her. She knows. Usually this is the worst at lunch when I work out of the house. I go home for lunch (something we all feel is more beneficial than this goodbye issue) and when it's time to leave, she knows. as soon as i begin "Mommy always ..." she screams and cries and if i dont already have her somewhere else, she wraps around me so tight. it's heartbreaking. I am told that most often this lasts for less than a minute and then she's fine.

    but, i am still wondering if anyone has suggestions for ways i can improve this.

    my 2nd question is ... twice a week, i work from home. i shut myself in my bedroom to work b/c she gets upset if i sit where she can see me and i'm not playing. i dont think she can understand and she'd rather have mom over anyone i have here to help me. to avoid any upset ... i've been just going into the bedroom when she's not paying attention or after she has gone into another room ... then, as i mentioned above, she doenst notice. the only difference is that i'm gone for *hours*, not just minutes. i feel weird about just "leaving" w/out warning her, ive' never snuck out on her and dont want to start. but i *know* if i say the words, she'll be upset. and it doesn't seem worth it.

    Thoughts??

  • #2
    I don't have any advice, just . When I leave my son with his grandmas to go to work he's fine because he's distracted and playing with them, but when I leave him with his daddy he cries for me and it breaks my heart. Today I left him with his grandma and he didn't cry, but he kept patting the floor and saying "seat" and I sat with him for a minute, but I had to leave and I felt so bad. It's so hard. I feel for you. I definitely wouldn't leave without telling her though. As hard as it is to have the tears at least you're told it's only for a minute or so. It might be harder on you than her even because I bet you're upset for more than a minute!

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