Just as a note, him and I have been having problems but manage to keep the peace and we do a good job as a team, as a family unit and as co parents.
He says himself, very insightfully, that he is triggered by 'food mess'. He doesn't mind toys thrown around etc etc but food mess really triggers him. For a while I asked him to eat dinner away from us, b/c my daughters throwing food on the floor was bugging the heck out of him & he was feeling v anxious (stuff left over from his childhood - he knows that) and was reacting in ways him and I did not like. So, he did and then stayed when he felt he could handle it. Today, he was holding her down the street and she had some jogurt and it spilt on him and he said really angryily 'look what you've done' and then I said she didn't do it on prupose and he put her down abruptly, huffed and puffed and then he stormed off saying he knew that but didn't need to be happy about it. She didn't seem to bat an eyelid, but I didn't like this & don't want to 'lecture' him - he hates it and I hate doing it.
What do I do? any suggestions or similar experiences ?