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Preschool Bullies

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  • Preschool Bullies

    I really love the school my daughter goes to but I have come across a couple of situations where I feel my daughter is being bullied. There are two boys who taunt her when I drop her off for school each morning about being "first" to be there. I can tell it bothers her because immediately she becomes withdrawn. And then just yesterday she told me her "friends" are bullies. She clicked with a couple of girls who they all seemed to get along well. Well, I guess lately she has been being purposely "left out" and "ignored" by these girls. Yes, this is in preschool! All 4 & 5 year olds!

    As she was openly talking about this to me yesterday I kept up the conversation by asking her how she felt and what she did when it happened. She told me it made her sad and she "played by herself" because no one wanted to let her into their "group". I asked her if she spoke to her teachers about this and she said no. She asked me to talk to them for her which I was but she did it herself this morning and I was so happy that she was able to do so. I hope it helps...I will see this afternoon when I pick her up to see how her day went.

    My question is why does it seem like she is continually the victim here? What can I do to help her not be a victim? My daughter is beautiful, fun, & intelligent and has a love for people, animals, learning, school & life...I don't want her to ever lose this! What can I do as a parent to protect her? This is her second year in preschool but at a different school than last year and never did I hear of anything like this happening.

  • #2
    What can you do to protect her? You'll probably have to start with teaching her that her happiness comes from inside of her. She gets to decide whether she's happy - other people, other kids, don't control that.

    She might be *happier* if she had lots of friends at school, nice kids who enjoy the same things she does and who don't like hurting other kids' feelings. But, so far, she hasn't met those kids at her school. There are probably kids like that there, but they might be shy or they haven't crossed paths with her, yet.

    So, the best thing she can do is to find out what makes her happy at school & do that on her own. Eventually, other kids who like those things will find her & she can make friends with them.

    And, in the meantime, she can hope that the 'mean kids' figure out how to be happy, too - and no one *really* feels happy when they're hurting someone else's feelings. They just are afraid of having their own feelings hurt, so they strike first.


    • #3
      Just a thought...when I was teaching, I would often have children say to me that they had no-one to play with because they were alone for the last few minutes of break. Two minutes is forever to a small child, and perhaps it is longer than two minutes - but perhaps not.

      Also, I suggest you get a cheap notebook and each night write down each incident in your daughters words. This means two things: one, she knows that you are listening to her and treating this as important; and two, if it is serious and becomes a big issue, then you have the evidence to show the adults at school.

      I hope these ideas are useful,
      Last edited by kloppenmum; 12-17-2010, 05:05 PM.


      • #4
        Thank you all (Facebook posts too) for all the really does help. She did say things were better that day that she spoke to the teacher about what happened. I will keep my eyes & ears open and document anything that doesn't seem right. I will also work on a few things with my daughter to boost her self esteem and probably do some role play.

        Thanks again!