ANyway, with all these good intentions... baby wearing, breast feeding (still at 2 yrs 9 mnths) co-sleeping, positive disc - where possible, etc etc...child led stufff really.
I mean, I shudder when I see kids shouted out or put in their strollers abruptly and strapped in while crying or talked down to and feel pain when they are left crying or shouted out for tantruming. Yet, sometimes I feel such a negativity with my daughter, when she seems to be whinging and whinning etc... some days, it just gets me!!!
She has a pretty good nightime routine and we just night weaned and that had some dramatic moments, which I think I dealt with well. She is usually in bed between 7-8.15pm and up around 6/6.30 am... well, sometimes, when she is fighting sleep or jumping all over the bed, it just winds me up. I wrote recently about that... will I ever learn??
Then, this morning, she had a morning feed at 5am.. I thought, for sure, she'd sleep till 6 am or longer, but was up at 5.20 and I was in her face - again! saying ' you better not be whinning later when you're tired", I was sounding like a bitter, nasty mother and I then walked downstairs angrily with her in my arms, sat her on the counter - which we often do, as she 'helps' me make tea and we have a little cookie with the tea. I said "sit there, and don't move!" angrily again and she started crying.... before that, she was more perplexed and I think, thought I was playing. Anyway..... I automatically cuddled and kissed her and apologised and expressed that I was worried she'd be tired and that I was tired and I was hoping we could sleep longer etc...
I seem to be getting a cycle and just thrown when the 'routine' in thrown and judging of myself. I am a single mother... lots of support from friends and family and she is wonderful - a v sensitive, aware and bright child.
Help!! I feel like a hypocrit and a fraud.