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Caring for myself

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  • Caring for myself

    What a selfish looking title, but it describes how I feel right now. The one principle I have been struggling with, for 15 years now, is balancing my life. Most activities I particpate in are geared towards my children and give me a great deal of satisfaction. Recently, I began to notice that I have not been caring for myself (or my husband). With regards to my husband, I always make time for the children (after all who will care for them if we don't?) and never seem to make time for him. I finally reached a point where this needed to be a priority and we started date night. Tonight was our first date night and we had a wonderful dinner where we could talk to each other. Our oldest watched the two younger girls and we were gone for a little over an hour. Just enough time for all of us. We had tried date night in the past and never seemed to make it work (the children stayed up late, one (or both of us) fell asleep, etc).

    I also noticed a decline in my health over the past few years. My blood pressure was up (due to my weight I'm sure) and my stress level was increasing. A new gym opened up about a year ago and everyone raved about their "Kid Zone". I decided to join the gym and give the Kid Zone a try about two weeks ago. Both of the younger girls LOVE going. DD2 even opted to go to the gym with me rather than staying home with DH! DD3 wants to continue playing even when my workout is complete! It is working for us (at least for the time being). I am feeling better about myself and do not feel as stressed even though nothing else has changed. I am so glad to have found a place that works for us.

  • #2
    Sounds great Lisa! I am trying to have more balance also. I signed up for some painting time at an art studio one night a week. I hope I can get as much out of it as possible and not worry too much that the kids are being awake and upset with my husband! I have also traded some babysitting for some Pilates time. On top of that I am applying to work for the Census and maybe gone even more.....which could totally throw-us off balance, but the hours are pretty flexible. (and we need a little more income after the Father of my steady babysitting job got laid off)
    My Husband and I will be having our 5 yr anniversary next month and will have some days together (but my baby still needs me at night, he's 15m) Its a good thread to start!


    • #3
      Good for you! It's important for us mamas to take care of ourselves. I've decided to join weight watchers again. Since I had my LO (almost 10 months)I've let my weight get out of control. I just dropped my hours at work from 40 to 30/week, so I figure I can spare the hour once a week to go to the meetings and I can spend time cooking healthy again instead of eating convenience food.

      Congratulations on finding some balance in your life!



      • #4
        congrats on your finding! That's a great idea...I'll have to look for something similar in my area. It's like you're doing something for yourself, but your kids are there - just not in your care. Best of both worlds right! Good luck with everything, I hope you keep up with it


        • #5
          hi all

          I just found this forum. I was active on the Mothering forums for a long time but now looking for something more for dealing with my children as they get older... found myself here, and was intrigued by the thread title.

          Balancing life and family is definitely a toughy for me. When dd1 was about 2 I was starting to lose my marbles being a full time mommy with no time for myself. I am a musician and wasn't doing any music and so, I decided to start a choir. This has been my saving grace. It's once a week, though I do work about 12 hours a week apart from rehearsals on administration. But anyhow, my point is that I think it's really important for us mamas, and dads too, to have time away from the family , even if it's once a week and to do something that you are really interested in... something you are passionate about... singing, sewing, knitting, sports, whatever it is... (sorry weight watchers doesn't count).... it has to be something that makes you FEEL good.... where you spend your time focused on that thing, for those 2 hours or whatever it is, and you leave feeling invigorated, relaxed, happy etc....

          I think for our mental and physical health it is really key... our dhs should do the same... and then there should be a date night as well... I actually think it's also very important for our children to see that we have passions and interests of our own...

          I recently started swapping babysitting with a friend who has two kids similar ages, twice a month, we do this, once we bring our kids to their house on a friday, and then me and my dh go for dinner, the next time they do it. It's been wonderful.


          • #6

            I am glad I read these posts.