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  • Adoption

    Hi all..My brother has adopted a baby from Korea..He and his wife are esctatic! The problem though is her family is giving her problems because she's white, my brother is Hispanic and the baby is Asian! What can I say to her as some words of inspiration?

  • #2
    Hmm...I don't have much experience with this, but I think...What a lucky family! So much diversity and heritage there! I guess, it boils down to what her family's perspective on this is. Hopefully her open-mindedness, over time, with help to change her family's perspective. This is what happened with my family when confronted by my AP practices; at first, I caught some criticism on it, but I'd just get going with AP - and peacefully, that is, not starting an argument, just doing what I was doing - and now my family is seeing that my choices are good choices. Not exactly your situation, but I would let her know that she can trust herself and that her family choices are hers and her family's and that you and your family support her.


    • #3
      Thanks for the perspective..It is greatly appreciated It's just so hard because I don't know what to say to her..and can I say anything to them? We're close but not as close as immediate family..I just hate to see her hurting like this..And my brother isn't taking it well either..I am so happy for them! It's a baby..why does race matter????


      • #4
        Some people are just narrow-minded and old-fashioned, thinking that unless things are the way they prefer then it's "weird." Your brother and sister-in-law will have to be strong and use their confidence that what they're doing is right to their advantage. They'll need to learn to turn a deaf ear in the direction of their naysayers, perhaps adding something like, "This is our decision, and we believe it is right. And we love our baby no matter what."

        As for you, perhaps the best support is just letting them know that you support their decision and let them talk out their feelings. It can hurt so much to see someone we love having a difficult time and not have any tangible way of solving the problem ourselves, but it means a great deal to the person that you're there. They are lucky to have someone as caring as you in their lives, and just knowing that will help them immensely.


        • #5
          I can't believe that there are actually people out there that believe that a family is only your blood. Just bc this child isn't ur brother's birth child doesn't mean it isn't his child!!! This reminds me of movie that I've seen commercials for about mixed race marriage. Does anyone know which one I'm talking about? I can't remember the name....


          • #6

            I assume this is what you are referring to??? It’s for the movie called What color is Love with Jennifer Finnegan. It’s on this weekend on the LMN channel…looks pretty dramatic but I plan on watching!!!!
            Last edited by melissa_h; 02-28-2009, 08:11 PM. Reason: Removed advertising link


            • #7
              Congratulations on becoming an aunt! Every new addition to a family is very special and I hope your sister-in-law's parents figure it out before they miss out on a grandbaby! Do you think their issue might be less with race and more with the fact their grandchild is not biologically related to them? I think we create a picture of what we expect our lives, and the lives of those around us, to be and any deviation from it can cause a little hiccup.