I am sussing out these forums so as to find some solace and sanity!
I have a 10 week old daughter and i had all of these ideals of being a wonderful attached family.... Well in reality it has not gone to plan...
Birth was less than ideal, I had her at home with hubby, mum, best friend and wonderful midwife however she spun posterior not matter how much we did to spin her back and labor was 39 hours and I felt I had failed
Breast feeding didn't get off on good start, she wouldn't latch as I think she had a very sore head (had bruising) so had to use nipple shield until 8 weeks which made her very windy and in pain after every feed so we would be winding her constantly so that she could be comfortable.
I wore her in a moby wrap from day one, however she doesn't like sleeping in bed even with us now she is used to wrap => I dont get any rest unless hubby is home to wear her(he works full time (for survival) as I am not working and mine was main income)
Co-sleeping was ok when hubby made a side cart to our bed so she can snuggle with me when awake/settling but is separate (10cm away from me) while sleeping as she will only sleep when exhausted herself with crying (wont nurse to sleep ) She wakes on average every hour or so to feed for about 2-5min, sometimes if we're lucky she will sleep for 4 hours! feels like heaven however I'm so wired now I can't sleep!
And to make this more challenging I have to return to seeing clients for 11 hours/week in 2 weeks! (if i don't we cant pay mortgage/eat etc and I would have to close my business) I see clients at home however as a chiropractor I can't wear her and see clients and she is certainly not content without human contact...
I have a lovely sister in law who follows (gulp) 'the baby whisperer' techniques religiously and has two wonderful settled happy healthy intelligent girls (youngest only 3 1/2 months older than my girl) I can't help but think is my girl not suited to attachment style? when I compare my screaming, angry, snuffly with a cold baby who wont have cuddles with her grandparents to my sister in law's girls I am wondering where I went wrong???
I feel like an absolute failure and the balance principle has escaped my grasp...