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Needing emotional support

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  • Needing emotional support

    Hello everyone,

    I am new here and I am new as a mom. I am 26 yrs old, live in Greece and married to a Greek man (I am not Greek). I am writing this as it is extinct type of men I think (like they used to be when men were going hunting and women were with other women nurturing kids and themselves . Anyway, I have no family around, just few friends and all busy with their families/work.
    My little girl is 5 mths old and I have been a single parent you can say from the begining. My husband works a lot or is not able mentally do anything with the baby.
    I am keeping my baby very close to me all the time, we are best company. I am not going to come back to work for the time being. I breastfeed her (also still at night, every 2-3h), we sleep together, (my husband sleeps on the sofa for few reasons which I will not mention here), I do EC with her and I carry her in the sling. I am her ‘slave’
    Now when teething started, I reach a point where I am so tired that I lose my good humor. My back hurts from carring her, and my whole body feels exhausted. After she falls asleep I have no energy or mood for nothing. After difficult night/day I have nothing left to give/do something for myself. We are having some problems in the relationship so I have no connection with my man at present (but seems to be long term now) to fill me up/give me a little.
    Could you please give me some advice on how to continue AP without burning out also physically? How to manage through tiredness and ehxaustion and be a happy mom?
    Best regards!

  • #2
    It sounds like you have a lot going on right now! to you! Is there any way you can communicate to your dh how you are feeling and ask him to help out in specific ways? could he take the baby for half hour so you can nap/recharge? can you work with some of your friends to arrange some co-op child care? i have found that people are willing to help out once asked. the good news (and bad news, I suppose, b/c you're going to miss that baby) is that this intense infant phase won't last much longer. pretty soon, you're going to be chasing around a toddler!


    • #3
      Poor you, this sounds like a very difficult situation and here you are still trying to do the very best for your baby. You deserve recognition and a big hug. I agree with previous post, can your partner at least give you an hour a day to get some rest? Does he have family around? Most of my Greek friends have very large and close families and Grandma and aunties that could lend a hand. Can anyone in your family come for a visit?

      I wish I could offer some practical advice but it sounds like you're doing your best, I'm sending you all the emotional support and good wishes possible.


      • #4
        Thank you this is just the kind of support I meant. It becomes easier to hear that I have the right to feel the way I do.
        I spoke with my DH and he agreed to take the baby from me on the days he can (as he often comes home when baby already sleeps). He understands my position. I hope that it will not finish just on his good intentions. I have already invited some friend to come and play with my girl when she finds time. Still waiting. I cannot imagine leaving my baby to anyone yet. My husbands' family is not very big and we are not so close. I am waiting for my mom to visit in May maybe in the mean time I will figure out something or hire someone to clean etc once a week so I feel better about not doing anything around the house.
        Thank you once again. Now I realize how important it to have your mom or close friends around. Or a husband at home I am glad that most of you do and that AP (or any parenting! I should say) is easier with 2 pair of hands.