toddler insomnia

[miel]

I'm an older (48) single mother by choice with one 22-month-old son. We are going through a really stressful time right now and my son has terrible insomnia. He is absolutely exhausted, but it often takes him a couple hours to fall asleep and sometimes as long as four hours. Everyone is telling me I should put him in a crib so I can get some sleep and get other things done, but I feel this would only add to his stress.

This is what I've tried so far:
nursing (he moves his arms and legs around or pinches me with his fingernails and if he can't keep himself awake doing that, he twists himself off the breast and stands up).
rocking (again, he keeps himself moving and keeps trying to start up a conversation)
singing (he sings along and shouts out suggestions when he feels himself starting to fall asleep)
swaddling (this sometimes works, but I often have to hold him until he cries before he stays still enough to fall asleep. It feels cruel to me).

We have a bedtime routine of pajamas, toothbrushing, book reading, nursing, sleep. I lie down next to him until he falls asleep. The room is dark, but there's a light on in the adjoining room so we can see a littles. On bath nights, two nights a week, we also do a massage before pajamas and I've started asking if he wants a massage even if it's not bath night. The massage seems to make no difference either way.

He's getting about seven to nine hours of sleep a day, including naps. At daycare (5 days a week) he naps 45-60 minutes and on weekends, he naps 3-4 hours. I hate to wake him from those weekend naps even though it messes up his sleep schedule, because he really needs the sleep.

Does anyone have any suggestions? If I just have to wait it out, do you have any suggestions for how I can keep my sanity and get enough rest myself? I don't have much in the way of social support here and I have no money.

Thanks.