APtly Said

APtly Said is API’s blog for parents written by parents striving to embrace API’s Eight Principles of Parenting in their families on a daily basis. Posts are provided through a core team of bloggers with guest posts accepted regularly. Contact Courtney Sperlazza, managing editor, for submission guidelines. 

Apr 18, 2014

Even before my first child was born nine years ago, I knew Attachment Parenting was something that fit my personality and values. My own parents practiced many Attachment Parenting principles, so it came very naturally to me. When my children were very young, I especially took the principle respond with sensitivity to heart. I wanted to be there for them when they needed me … and as babies their needs were very urgent. A newborn simply doesn’t understand the concept of waiting.

Now that my children are older, the way that I respond to their needs and requests has changed. More and more, I encourage them to try things by...

Apr 16, 2014

breastfeeding2014taf

The core of Attachment Parenting is responding with sensitivity.

API recognizes that breastfeeding can be difficult in our society. It is hard to do something different than our family and friends, who are our social network prior to becoming parents, and to find a new support system for our choices. It is hard to navigate new motherhood relatively alone, compared to other cultures where family rallies together to give the mother a “babymoon”—a time when mom and baby can bond...

Apr 14, 2014

Continued from Part 1

As we relearned loving sleep routines with our son, we did strike upon a few techniques that worked well for us as a family.

We are Roman Catholic, and praying a quiet rosary with our son before bedtime has two benefits: It relaxes him, and it relaxes us. He delights in our voices, in the soothing and soft repetition of sounds he remembers from the night before. The meditative sound and pacing of the prayer likewise soothes us, which reassures our son further.

Those who are not Roman Catholic or who do not want to pray a rosary might try memorizing a longer poem they love...

Apr 09, 2014

by Abigail Flavin

My husband and I learned about Attachment Parenting when, after reading many, many reviews of various baby books, we selected one by William Sears, MD. We found the principles and practices intriguing. They offered us clarity for our own thoughts and hopes for ourselves as parents. Repeatedly, we discussed the principles, sharing anecdotes from our own childhoods and from what we were reading about parenting. We thought we were completely ready for our son’s arrival, since we had acquired a car seat, clothing, diapers, and parenting ideas. We were unprepared for our spirited son, Thomas, who has proven that babies can get by just fine on less than the required range of sleep time so often touted by experts.

The first month was about what we...

Apr 02, 2014

To be very honest, I believe sensitivity is the key for a father to get along with Attachment Parenting. We must allow ourselves to feel like this, without fearing or caring about what others might think of our manhood. What is to be a man, after all? If it is to drink beer and watch football, then I am afraid I have never been truly a man. It ought to be more than that!

But sadly, many men today have not created secure attachments with their own parents. Many of us have not received love and affection when we were little. Some of us even say that despite everything, we survived. So why, now, we should provide all the love and affection most of us did not receive? Because it is not a matter of survival, it is a matter of thriving, and everybody in the...

Mar 28, 2014

Let me start off telling a little bit about myself and my family. My name is Thiago, I live in Brazil, and I have a beautiful one-year-old toddler, Dante. I am also currently an API Leader Applicant, preparing myself to start the first API support group in Brazil: API Rio.

pic1

Dante was born at a planned home birth, which was a totally life-changing experience both for myself and my wife. I would never believe I could become a completely different person, a father.

Getting there was not that simple. The...

Mar 14, 2014

Two months ago, I returned to school, some 14 years after completing my first degree. It was the first time I’d done anything more than a two-day workshop since I got married and had children. Right now I’m taking three classes at a local university, gathering prerequisites with the hope of eventually studying education and becoming a public school teacher. This has represented a big change not just for me, but for my entire family.

going back to school with kids
The quad on campusOne of the eight principles of Attachment Parenting...

Mar 10, 2014

Giving the Love Book ImageLet’s start out March talking about Giving the Love That Heals by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D. Just a few of the topics we’ll be discussing in March will be :

  • The Unconscious Parent

  • ...
Mar 07, 2014

As it turns out with so many of the most amazing people I have been privileged to write about, Peggy O’Mara—a mother of four who was an absolutely integral force in starting and carrying the Attachment Parenting movement for 35 years through her magazine, Mothering—didn’t set out to change the world.

But, wow, she sure did.

I always pictured Peggy as a high-powered magazine executive, but it became quickly apparent that she is just like you and me—first and foremost a mother, now a grandmother, who adores her family but also has a giving heart with a passion for helping parents at all points in their parenting journey.

To begin with, when I began our phone interview and apologized ahead of time for the interruptions from my children that were sure to happen—...

Mar 03, 2014

API is pleased to recognize this blog post for its contribution to AP and to share it with you, our readers. API does not review other content on the author’s blog or website and takes no responsibility for how that information may or may not align with API’s ethos or API’s Eight Principles of Attachment Parenting. We thank you for remaining supportive and encouraging when interacting with the author and with other readers, whether or not the ideas presented work for your family.

Last week, Torsten gave us...

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