APtly Said

APtly Said is API’s blog for parents written by parents striving to embrace API’s Eight Principles of Parenting in their families on a daily basis. Posts are provided through a core team of bloggers with guest posts accepted regularly. Contact Rita Brhel, interim editor, for submission guidelines. 

Nov 25, 2014

barbara nicholsonBy Barbara Nicholson, cofounder of Attachment Parenting International (API) and coauthor of Attached at the Heart with Lysa Parker

My mom has a compression fracture in her spine and will spend Thanksgiving and maybe Christmas in rehab. At 95 years young, she...

Nov 21, 2014

100_0272I feel it is such a sign of true strength when parents can be honest with themselves and others that they, too, struggle.

Especially with Attachment Parenting (AP), many parents feel that they have to be “perfect” but that is an impossible standard. We all have moments where our knee-jerk reactions get the best of us.

Just the other day, I stubbornly insisted...

Nov 20, 2014

Editor’s note: This article was originally published on Sept. 24, 2008, but it puts into perspective why new motherhood can sometimes be hard to adjust to.

lady---childrens-art-2-1422726-mI’ve always liked to feel in control of my life. In my pre-baby days — back in the mists of time — I used to work full time in various office environments. My desk was always tidy, my in-tray cleared by every evening, my out-tray filed away neatly. Any outstanding work issues...

Nov 19, 2014

By Donna Wetterlund

donna wetterlundLike every grandparent, the arrival of my first grandchild was a rite of passage with mixed emotions. I was in denial about the label that clearly identified me as “old,” but I was fascinated with my daughter’s changing body and the life growing inside it.

I was proud of my daughter’s healthy and well-adjusted approach to pregnancy. But most importantly, I was celebrating the addition of a baby in my world without the...

Nov 18, 2014

By Barbara Nicholson, cofounder of Attachment Parenting International and coauthor of Attached at the Heart with Lysa Parker

friends-swinging-together-749492-mPlay is a critical component of healthy, secure attachment. As our children...

Nov 17, 2014

Spanking quote (2)

When I see the debate among people about parenting and the different tools and methods, the way most arguments seem to finish is “…but whatever works for the family.”

I’ve been thinking about this, and it just doesn’t make sense.

Spanking works for nobody, no matter how you slice it. It’s just a quick fix and, truly, not even that. It’s cheating at not only parenting, but being a human being toward other other humans.


Nov 14, 2014

Whenever I encounter turbulence on my maiden voyage of parenting, I take solace in reminding myself of one really crucial ingredient of Attachment Parenting: trust.

Trust is both an awesome gift and an incredible challenge, one that we receive and take on as part of the mantle of parenthood.

161052_1659We witness it in the eyes of our nursing infant child as he gazes up at us with unquestioning faith, and again in the wild abandon with which our toddler runs and leaps into our arms, never for a moment imagining we...

Nov 12, 2014

The Leader The Leader

Editor’s note: This post was originally published on Sept. 23, 2008, but it serves to remind parents how Attachment Parenting differs from permissive parenting.

The world is full of followers, but you’re not one of them. ~J.L. Glass

I recently attended a seminar taught by motivational speaker J.L. Glass — a very funny, charismatic speaker at that — and he mentioned that he tells his kids that. It got me to thinking about all of the messages we give our children, both verbally and through our actions, and how much of our parenting, good...

Nov 10, 2014

brothers-and-sisters-788179-mNow that school has started again in Mexico, we are adjusting to the new schedule, new teacher and new challenges of first grade. We are still getting used to having to get up at 6:30 a.m. and make it to school with all the important pieces in their tidy places…

…which leads me to wonder out loud: Is it just our household, or do you also have these moments when you notice that your kid is the one with the stain on their shirt?

In our case, my girl’s...

Nov 07, 2014

cason zarroWhen I am pregnant, I can sleep anywhere, anytime. I’d love to just sleep through the first two-thirds of pregnancy. I could fall asleep on the stairs, on the way to bed. I could even rest up for 12 long hours at night and still be able to take a nice morning nap.

But there was one thing that kept me awake at night, staring at the ceiling: my son’s warm body snuggled next to mine, with his arm draped over my growing belly.

I’d pull him closer to me and think, “What have I done? How...

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