Potty training. Again.
You’d think that after doing this twice already, I’d feel more confident. Instead, I mostly feel tired. Some days I want to throw the diapers out the window. Other days, I’m tempted to chuck the potty seat, the trainers, and my determination right along with them.
Trading diapers for the potty is like other parenting transitions—like moving my child from my bed to their own or weaning from the bottle. Every parent I’ve talked to is going through or has been through the same transitions, and yet there’s always some aspect that surprises me.
These are not small changes. And even if you’ve done them before, you’ve never done this one—with this child. For them, it’s all brand new.
Some transitions happen quickly. Others dig in their heels and refuse to budge. Potty training, for us, is definitely the stubborn kind.
When I feel frustrated, I’ve been trying to pause and look at why I want this change to happen right now.
Logically, I know my child can make the transition. Emotionally, it still feels overwhelming.
I feel done.
Done with diapers. Done with middle-of-the-night wake-ups. Done with repeating the same thing over and over. I wonder why my child can’t just cooperate already.
I don’t feel resentful toward my daughter. But after more than eight years of changing diapers, I am very tired.
If I’m being real, there’s some timetable in my head.
I’m definitely tired of diapers. But there’s more going on, too. This is my youngest of three, and we’re not having any more children. She didn’t linger in the baby stage: She hit physical milestones months before her older sisters. In many ways, she’s been gently nudging me forward whether I’m ready or not.
I also have a habit of breezing through transitions without really acknowledging them. When she stopped breastfeeding around 17 months, I didn’t mark the “last” time. I loved breastfeeding, and I knew that pausing to grieve that ending would be too painful. So we just moved on.
Potty training feels similar, but bigger. This marks the end of my baby and toddler years. No more diapers. No more babies in my care. There will be freedom in that, yes—but also a quiet ache. Dragging this out for months doesn’t actually make it easier. It just stretches out the sadness.
What I’ve realized is that what’s most required of me right now is love.
My daughter will be potty trained. (I repeat this to myself often.) My job is to love her where she is, to love this stage, and to let that love fuel my patience.
That same love will also carry me through the realization that there are no more babies, no more toddlers, and someday no more little girls in my care.
So I’ve made a few small changes to signal and celebrate the transition. I took the changing table out of her room. We weren’t using it anyway, and it helps signal that something is shifting. I added potty training diapers to the grocery list.
We’ll keep moving forward with consistency, but I’m loosening my timeline. I’m choosing patience. And I’m renewing my love for caring for a toddler and celebrating her growth—right here, right now.
What was your most recent big transition? How did you celebrate?
(This post was inspired by “Finding Grace and Love in Potty Training?” 2010.)