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Who is your parenting support?

Submitted by Rita Brhel on 8 August 2022

There's a saying that "it takes a village to raise a child."

For sure! Parents need a solid support circle, but it's incredibly important that the people included in your supportive social ties be aligned with your parenting goals.

This is especially true for new parents. We grow in our confidence, as parents, as we grow in our parenting. As we all are with any new skill, our confidence can be a little shaky at first and we can be impressionable when first starting out and still solidifying our parenting goals and approach. 

If my parenting goal is to response sensitively to my children when they are angry, seeking support from friends who punish their angry children can undermine my goal. The same goes with any area of parenting...understanding child development, feeding, nurturing touch, sleep, discipline, consistency in care, and so on.

This doesn't mean that we can't be friends with others with different parenting goals. We can certainly be positive influences for change! But when we find ourselves asking questions or needing validation, and oh we find ourselves doing this frequently all the way through our parenting journeys(!), it's vital that we seek support from someone with similar parenting goals.

I further suggest having a mix of experience in your parenting support circle, if possible: friends in the same stage of parenting as you, friends with older children, friends with grown children, friends with fewer children, friends with more children. Each different perspective offers more ideas to try!

You'll find that some in your parenting circle are more natural at validation and that others may become your go-to for questions. Different people may offer more helpful support during different seasons. 

The hope is that your parenting support circle provides ample opportunity to enrich your life and that you are able to return the favor to others. We all need this! 

#normalizenurturing

your parenting circle