Principle: Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally

There can be many reasons why a one-year-old toddler wants to nurse a lot at night. For instance, he may be going through a normal developmental stage, such as when learning to walk or talk. During these times, he needs reassurance and extra touch before he can begin this gradual separation process toward greater independence. If a child is frequently waking during the night, it may be wise to rule out physical causes for the waking such as teething, earache, reflux, or other illnesses.

This will be a real balancing act. It will be very helpful to have your partner's help and cooperation during this time of transition for your three-year-old. It never hurts to try other methods to help your older child to sleep if he is ready for them. Reading stories, rubbing his back, and singing softly are all good things to try before the new baby comes, and may work on occasion, especially if it's someone else besides mom who is doing them!

Our best advice is to try not to worry in advance. It's good to anticipate and seek strategies, but the secret to parenting is being flexible and going with the flow. Parenting is unpredictable, so the more flexible you are, the more relaxed you'll be. Enjoy getting to know your newborn, and when he is sleeping you can give your older son some individual attention. If you find yourself becoming exhausted, call in reinforcements. A mother's helper (or a teenager or trusted friend) can be of tremendous help during the early weeks.

First, you might have a very different experience with your second baby—you may find that you are more relaxed, and that both of you sleep better at night. If the baby is in close proximity, and you can meet her needs without too much disruption, you might get a better night's sleep than you had with your first. It's best to keep an open, positive attitude, but, at the same time, prepare ahead!

Attachment Parenting International doesn't endorse a specific brand of bed rails. The most important thing we emphasize is to keep safety in mind and do your own product research before making a purchase.

Most families find many creative ways of making the family bed work for them. Some parents will not have a problem with everyone in the bed, especially if it's king-sized. Others may find that the older toddler starts to "wean away" from the bed very gradually, and during your pregnancy you might be able to start this process. If he has his own room, you can make a big deal of picking out a "big boy" bed with fun sheets and décor that he picks out. Then you can start a bedtime ritual of reading to him and lying down with him in his bed.

Be creative! A family bed should not prevent parents from being intimate. It just takes a little ingenuity. For example, parents can steal away to another room or have children become accustomed to napping in a different room. Make weekend naptimes your special time to reconnect as a couple. The key is flexibility and spontaneity! Although a family bed changes things, it should not deter couples from nurturing their own relationship.