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How do you have sex if your kids are co-sleeping with you?

Sex is an important part of a marriage relationship, and it makes sense that this can become a challenge or concern in co-sleeping families, but AP parents can and do enjoy sexually fulfilling marriages even during their co-sleeping years. There is a wide range of "normal" interest and ability following the birth of a child, but it's common and even expected that sexual desire declines for both men and women in the first few months of parenthood. Many factors cause this dip in intimacy including hormonal changes, changes to the body, exhaustion, the new challenges of parenthood, and more. Breastfeeding also plays a role in the timing and pace of hormonal recalibration. At some point, both partners will be interested in having sex again, though the timing may differ. There are many creative ways for partners to enjoy intimate relations that work for them.

Tips for maintaining your sex life:

  • Set up a bassinet, crib, or other safe sleeping surface for your child in another room, to allow you use of your bedroom during naps, or in the early evening.
  • Designate another area of your home the place where you can feel comfortable having sex.
  • Let a grandparent, friend, or babysitter watch your children in their home, or take them on some kind of an outing, even just to the park, leaving you time with your spouse in your own home.
  • Make a reservation at a local hotel, and go on a date for the afternoon; you don't have to stay the night.
  • Be creative -- find time during naps, when the children are asleep or with others to meet your needs as a couple.
  • As with everything between couples, open lines of communication are important. Talking with each other about needs and desires can help couples support each other and boosts the chances that more needs are met more of the time.
  • If either parent experiences persistent discomfort or decreased interest, consult with trusted health and healing professionals.